Battle of the Monster’s Balls: The Winner
In what was one of the most exciting battles in the tournament thus far, or ever in the history of the tournament, Snake Pliskin took the win from crowd favorite Voorhees. It wasn’t really an upset as Snake was heavily favored to win going into it.
Sure Jason is more related to Halloween, and is a brilliant hacker and slasher. Hell he proved that in the preliminary rounds, and being the baddest of all monsters is something that can not be taken away from him, but the truth is The Ultimate Battle of the Balls is about more than just violence, it is about combat. Two men enter one man leaves, much like Thunderdome, but with out Tina and Jew Hater.
So without further ado here is your winner.
After receiving his new trophy he quickly rode off into the night saying something about grabbing a few cold ones with the Duke of New York. We figured this would be a good time to talk to one of our best and oldest friends, John Carpenter.
: Oh Jesus Christ on a crutch! Not you assholes again. You know I had a restraining order taken out against you.
: Oh we know, we thought it was flattering. I mean, you actually took the time to fill out all that paper work. So what do you think of Snake’s big win today?
:Yeah especially since he was dressed as Michael Myers!!!
: You freaks are pathetic. I have sued you into the ground over this shit. You drag the good names of my characters through the mud, and it pisses me off. Unfortunately since no one pays any attention to your insignificant little website you don’t have any damn money.
: What would you think of an all Carpenter battle of the balls. Snake, Jack Burton, Michael Myers, James “Desolation” Williams, Jack Crow, Nada, Father Loomis, Starman, R.J. MacReady and hell, maybe even invite you to the competition. Have the character’s face their creator.
: I would come to your houses while you weren’t home and set your pets on fire.
: I don’t have any pets.
: Yeah, I ate mine with a side of Jalapeño poppers and sour cream.
: You little shits really are pathetic. Get out of my site.
: Just admit it, you love our site and want to write a rockin soundtrack to it.
: You both should die.
: I’m dressing as Jack Burton for Halloween.
: I will rape your face. To death!
That really doesn’t seem fair to me.
Why is Snake even in the battle of the monster balls?
I thought this was for a different title.
Truly disappointed.
Snake is at the end of every title. He holds it until someone takes it.