Wikipedophile: SNYDER

SNYDER is an American rock band formed at Liberty Park Pool and Forest Hills Nature Trail in July 1978. Easily identified by its members’ trademark stage outfits, sexual explicit lyrics and in fighting,  the group rose to prominence in the early 1980s when Poopsie said, “Stop makin all that god damn racket in the basement, holee christ Susie and I haven’t been able to watch Penn State games in peace fer a damn month”. SNYDER has been awarded 24 platinum to date, an AVN Award and a F.A.M.E. Award. The band has sold over 190 million records in the United States[2] and their worldwide sales exceed 280 million albums.[3]

The original lineup of King Dut (vocals and harpsichord), Turbo Charger (vocals, harmonica and rhythm guitar), Bodie Mann (lead guitar, xylophone and vocals), Wizard of Groz(Bass, French Horn and vocals), and Cimba Psychosis (Drums, Piccolo and Vocals) lasted until just after the release of their debut album.  The band explains that the fans were the ones who ultimately chose their on stage personae. Dut was an over the top womanizer, Turbo was an indescribable drunk, Groz would punch and kick children, Cimba only wanted to dance and Bodie…well no one ever liked Bodie. Due to creative differences, Bodie was out of the group by 1984. The band’s commercial fortunes had also grew considerably by that point.

In 1984, SNYDER went on tour opening for the supergroup Squiris, fronted by Billy Squire and Donnie Iris. The band won over fans town by town until SNYDERmania was world wide. They were on the cover of every music magazine and all five members had been featured in some facet of adult entertainment. Just as the band finished their U.S. tour it was decided that Bodie was a no good rat bastard “nice guy goodie two shoes” who didn’t want to spring extra for nice rooms and was bringing the group down. He was fired.

History

Early years and struggles (1977-1979)

SNYDER traces it routes to the band C.R.O.Y.L.E. which formed in a Sheetz parking lot or a basement in Dunlo, the exact point is unclear. C.R.O.Y.L.E. was the band formed by Turbo Charger (real name Rocky Croyle) King Dut (Real Name Dustin King) and “a couple of dudes that probably all masturbate on Thursdays now”. C.R.O.Y.L.E. recorded an LP called, “Girl You Don’t Wear Sneakers Cause I Always Hear You Come”. and were signed to Marty Radavanic‘s M-Rad records.

In 1978 C.R.O.Y.L.E was on its way down due to the other members of the band not enjoying getting hammered on cheap wine and boning lots of Windber sluts. King Dut and Turbo decided to form a new band seeking out new members. The remaining members of  C.R.O.Y.L.E. let the contract run out on M-Rad and returned to non-musical lives. Eventually King Dut joined up with Cimba and Groz to try and create the, “hardest rocking, hardest boning, hardest drinking band in the world”.

Practices went well, but all the members agreed that the band needed a fuller sound. Dut and Turbo took out an ad in the Trader’s Guide that said, “Band seeks kick ass guitarist who likes to get drunk and do chicks. Must think The Mega Powers is the greatest wrestling stable ever”.  The only person that answered the ad was a frail, bearded dude named James St. Bodenschatz (Bodie Mann).

The guys added Bodie to the line up and decided to call themselves SNYDER…for no real reason.

Just The Tip Era (1979-1984)

justthetipSNYDER moved out of Poopsie’s garage in 1979 and into the history books when they played their first show at the Flood Memorial in Sidman.  The show was talked about in V.F.W.’s, Hoop and Deb’s and Morris’ Tavernfor weeks to come. Out of that show came an invitation to play a BBQ in Creslow, then a bon fire at Clint Kick’s house and finally a house party in Pittsburgh.

It was while playing the house party that the band reconnected with Donnie Iris. Iris had heard about their live show from a couple of guys that worked with Poopsie at Conrail and decided to check them out. He was so impressed with their set that he decided to take them under his wing and help them land a record deal.

On June 7th1983 SNYDER gave “Just The Tip” to the world And the world was blown away. With songs like, “Party In The Bush” and “Lickin Up Your Love Juice”, the album rocketed up the charts. By January 1984 Donnie was ready to offer them the opening spot on the Squiris North American tour.

Every show made the band more and more popular, but also piled more and more pressure on the members. Cracks started to show within the band when the boys would go out to strip clubs and drink Manischewitz and Bodie refused to go. King Dut was quoted as saying, “Fuck dude even Cimba goes to the titty bar and he likes dicks! What the hell is your problem?”.

By the end of the North American tour the rift between Bodie and the rest of the band was too great and before embarking on a European tour Bodie was fired and punched in the kidney.

Pant Like A Dog Era (1984- 1987)

pantlikeadog

Needing to find a replacement lead guitarist as soon as possible King Dut, Turbo, Groz and Cimba decided to do a search of the club circuit and hire the most promising guitarist they could find. Before they had the chance however the band’s manger at the time, Lute D’Rorick, told them they were hiring Texas guitarist and avid porno collector Noah “Nasty” Naskarr.

Nasty was a great fit with the band, other than the fact that he liked to pretend he was a conservative republican and bombarded the other members of the band with pro-republican postcards. This activity stopped however after the rest of the band used a rabid badger to attack his scrotum.

In April of 1984 SNYDER started on the Japanese and Australian leg of their tour. The band was flying high and for the first time in their lives enjoying a level success they have only dreamed of. They played sold out shows at 113 dates in a row, then 2 dates where their we two less people in the crowd than the venues could hold, then 57 more sold out dates.

While in Japan, King Dut and Turbo charger were arrested on charges of running an unlicensed Bukake ring, but after being held for 22 hours, Cimba was able to prove the grope did have a professional bukake license and the two were released.

When the band reached Australian shores they were confronted with a rigorous schedule because not only did they have to perform sold out shows every night, but during the day they also had to record their second album, “Pant Like A Dog” in order to make the deadline for delivering an album.

Pant Like A Dog debuted at number 7 and climbed the charts all the way to number 2 where it stayed for 51 weeks. It is the favorite album of Nasty to this day.

The band finished the tour for Just The Tip and released the album, Pant Like A Dog on the same day, they decided to take 2 months off the road before going back out to promote the new album.

Come Inside, Great Ass Tits and Switching Labels (1984- 1990)

comeinside

During the 2 month hiatus, the band cut loose, spent a little money and went a little crazy. King Dut bought a 500 acre ranch in Revloc along with about 150 cars, I mean nothing really exotic, just like Datsuns and Yugos. Turbo hired a group of women to stay near him at all times to clean and take care of him, pleasure him and carry him on a Roman style sedan, Turbo also began collecting nude paintings of Maria Leopoldina.

Cimba started a large collection of music by crappy bands no one else cares about, Groz took some culinary classes and Nasty beat up a transvestite hooker. It was actually proven later that the hooker paid Nasty to beat him…her…it up.

In August of 1984 the band decided to head back out on the road. By the time they got back together the had all developed massive alcohol dependencies, all except for Cimba because his imaginary vagina would bleed around alcohol. With out question the heaviest drinkers in the group were King Dut and Turbo.

The tour kicked off at Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on August 2nd 1984. The band set the world record for the loudest live show of all time at that show and then after words set the record for most people involved in an orgy, without lube, that night.

While on tour Dut and Turbo earned the nickname, the Booze Brothers as they were never completely sober for a full 24 hour period. Over the next two years SNYDER toured non-stop playing 711 shows, drinking over 7300 gallons of alcohol, snorting enough cocaine to fuel the economy of Mexico into a golden age and allegedly spawned 293 illegitimate children, allegedly.

While on tour the straight band members (not Cimba)  were accumulating more and more women on every stop. Finally, Groz found 8 that he really liked, and to keep from the rest of the band sharing them or throwing them off at the next stop, Groz tied their hair together.

After much deliberation, Noah and Dut were able to convince Groz to share his women. They became known as The Octopuss and eventually all wore the same outfit. Never once from conception until the end had their hair been untied for any reason. The band even built a circular table on the bus with 8 platforms on it, so that the members could just move from station to station and enjoy The Octopuss.

It all ended when King Dut went too far again and got into an altercation with one of the women on a hotel balcony, which led to him pushing her off. All 8 women went off the edge, but luckily none were injured since it was only a 2nd story and their hair held them together, breaking the fall.

No charges were ever pressed, but women’s rights activists were somewhat livid. Protesting outside Noah’s house, the main protestor was discovered to be a psychotic fan that was using the protest to get pictures of Noah’s security systems in an attempt to hatch a plot to steal his underwear and sell it on eBay. Wolcott later commented, “Bitch, I don’t even wear underwear, yall know there’s nothing that can keep this thing in place.”

By July of 1986 the band was tired, drunk, sloppy and worn out. After a disagreement about where to record their next album King Dut fired manager Lute D’Rorick and replaced him with Norm O’Littletterstein the half Irish, half Jewish, half Portuguese manager of such huge bands as Amber and the Bum Rushers and Rick Mitchell’s Metal Masters.

The band rented the Winchester Mystery House to record their next album, Come Insideand moved in to begin work. Progress moved slowly though as Dut and Turbo would spend most of their time drinking and fighting, on most occasions, dragging Cimba into the fights.

After nearly a year of recording, drinking, fighting, being arrested, breaking up and getting back together SNYDER released, Come Inside, which is without a doubt their most successful album to date.

The tour for Come Inside was full of problems. At a show in Donington Dut and Turbo broke into what one fan described as “a homoerotic karate fight”. Six shows were canceled in Spain when Groz sprained his groin when, while high on ether he made love to a solid granite statue for 11 hours.

While the band was sound checking for a show in Pyongyang, Cimba was sitting at the drum set rehearsing a part of the act where his drums would shoot fire when he got out of sync with the pyro and received 3rd degree burns to over half his body. SNYDER ended the tour the next day.

Upon returning to the U.S. Nasty was arrested getting off the plane at LaGuardia as a suspect in a massive sting against NAMBLA. As it turns out his involvement with the group known as the North American Man Boy Love Association was just a big mistake.

Fauq Eue Records had had enough of SNYDER’s antics andafter the failed Come Inside world tour the band was dropped from the label. No amount of arguing from Norm O’Littletterstein about how they were the biggest selling act on the label could reverse the damage they had done to themselves.

greatasstits

After Norm O’Littletterstein helped the band start their own label, Snytone Records, a legal battle began to block any new material from the band. Fauq Eue claimed that SNYDER had to produce one more album for them to fulfill their original four album deal. SNYDER claimed that since the label refused to support them and in effect “dropped them” they owed nothing further. The judge, Ted Ito (no relation to Lance Ito), in the landmark case ruled that SNYDER didn’t have to produce new material but that Fauq Eue could use previously recorded material to put together a greatest hits package.

The result was Great Ass Tits, 1983-1988, a collection of best selling songs and previously unreleased tracks. While the band never approved of the album, the album was very successful and helped to pad the bank accounts of all the band members.

All Over Your Face, Youth In Asia and Break Up (1990- 1996)

alloveryourface

1990 ended on a high note for SNYDER. They were released from their previous contract, they were running their own label and they had the biggest selling album in the world. The plan was to have all the guys enter rehab then regroup to write the greatest album ever.

Well even the best laid plans fail and fail this did. In January of 1991 SNYDER did a benefit show with KISS to help find a cure for veganism. One member of the band in particular, Groz, was pissing his pants the whole time. Groz was totally obsessed with Gene Simmons, yet no matter how many times he wrote him or called him while drunk in the middle of the night Gene never responded to his sexual advances.

Dut was obsessed with the fact that KISS wasn’t wearing their make up anymore and suggested for their next album that SNYDER put on makeup of their own. Rather than go into rehab, the band decided the key was to drink and do drugs MORE to try and reach another stage of thought. To further complicate things Dut, Turbo and Cimba refused to be in the same place together at the same time, so their parts were quite literally phoned in.

The result was the less than stellar, All Over Your Face album. Fan support was at an all time high so the album sold well and Cimba was quoted as saying at one point, “The entire album could be just a recording of me sodomizing a bass guitar and the world would love it.” SNYDER was ripping apart at the seems.

While on tour to promote the All Over Your Face album, things came to a head. The well-documented antics of Dut were getting out of control even by SNYDER standards. After thrashing part of a casino with bandmate Jim Groz and former bandmate James St. Bodenschatz (along with head roadie Ricky), Charger, Nasty, and Cimba had had enough. It was further pushed over the edge when King Dut was arrested for throwing a stripper from a balcony into the casino swimming pool while drunkenly engaging in a game of “Human Sling-shot“. Things were boiling, but simmered throughout the night until King snuck away with another stripper and threw her off the balcony as well. What made it even worse was the fact that the female in question was not a stripper, but was the undisclosed wife of a bandmate. King was cited in Kerrang! as, “She was always a stupid fucking whore, what’s the difference if she was a real stripper or just looked like one?” Charges were later dropped in both cases but the damage was done within the band.

King cited other over-the-top antics by band members (especially Cimba, who is accused of routinely bringing down the whole mood by dragging multiple male models to the post-show sexcapades) but it was to no avail, and he was kicked out of his own band.

Wanting to keep the fires for SNYDER burning hot the remaining members decided to hire a new lead singer. Former Bum Rushers lead guitarist Switch Blade was brought into to fill the role and SNYDER went back into the studio.

By 1993 a new album had been recorded titled, “Youth In Asia”, it was a concept album about having sex with barely legal Asian girls. The album was shelved and never released though due to a protracted legal battle involving King Dut and rights to the former band C.R.O.Y.L.E.

As a result of the legal battle SNYDER was forced to reinstate Dut, but rather than deal with his antics, his unhealthy Bret Hart obsession and his overall poor personal hygiene, Turbo, Cimba, Groz and Nasty all left the band.

Fisting For Compliments and Side Projects (1997–2002)

fistingforcompliments

By 1997 King Dut was the only remaining original member of SNYDER and he decided to hire a new band and put out a new album to show the world he “didn’t need those homos and Hart haters”.

Dut decided than really look too hard for new band members he would just randomly point at people and tell them they were in the band. The first was an African American little person named, Jamon Williams. Dut called him, Lil’ Darkie and continued filling the ranks. Next up was a strange woman that lived near Dut that owned a bunch of cats, he told her to play bass and started calling her Helen Whoreface. Rocking the guitar would be none other than WWF/WCW star Chris Benoit. Finally a member of the band that may or may not have been a complete fabrication of Dut’s mind was Skum a.k.a Travis Macon.

The new SNYDER recorded and released the album Fisting For Compliments in 1997. It was a god awful rap metal album that even Rob Van Winkle called “horseshit”. It sold less than 200,000 copies worldwide and Dut withdrew from the public.

The former members of SNYDER didn’t just sit around the whole time either. Cimba put out a country and western album entitled, Coming Out To The Country, Turbo Charger formed a band with a revolving line-up of his close friends called Turbo’s Chargers. Nasty, now married to a woman who claimed she was a reincarnated Tibetan monk decided to release his own line of herbal tea called Nas-Tea and Groz joined up with Tesla bassist Brain Wheat to open a bar called The Double Bass.

As far as anyone involved with SNYDER was concerned the band was done.

Unplugged and Come Again Era (2002-Present)snyderunplugged

The band continued to not exist in any form until 2002 when MTV news host Kurt Loderdecided to use the full weight of the network to plead with Dut, Cimba, Turbo, Groz and Nasty, excluding Bodie as no one ever liked him, to put the band back together going so far as to issue an open invitation on the air to play one show at MTV studios for $1 Million USD.

Two weeks later both Groz and Nasty went on MTV news and begged King Dut, Cimba and Turbo Charger to put aside their differences and do the show. Fan response was so great that for 3 weeks straight the only videos played on TRL were from SNYDER. Dut and Cimba agreed to join up with Nasty and Groz to do an MTV Unplugged show.

Finally the night came around, Dec. 8 2002. Groz and Nasty were both at the venue warming up when the door opened and Cimba walked in. Next to enter was King Dut. There was no sign of Turbo and as show time approached the band agreed to go on without him.
 
The curtain rose, the band took the stage and seconds later Turbo walked out, shook hands with Dut and Cimba and the band seemed to have a magic to them that they hadn’t had since 1983.
comeagain
After touring and rebuilding old friendships for the last seven years the bonds within SNYDER are stronger than they ever have been. The band announced in June of 2009 that they would enter the studio again to record their first album of all new material together for the first time since 1991’s All Over Your Face.

Still Hard Tour

still hard

On August 27th SNYDER told the world via a message on their fan club website that they would soon be holding a press conference to make a major announcement. While most people speculated that it would have something to do with the upcoming release of their newest album, “Come Again”it was rumored that the conference would be to announce the return of Bodie Mann to the group. Either way, expectations were high.

At 8:45 am EST the USS Carrier USS George Washington came into port where a crowd of reporters representing the bulk of the world’s news agencies were waiting. Standing at the bow in full costume and make-up were the members of SNYDER.  The press was brought on board and a question and answer session began to discuss the tour.

Recent Conflict

Not all is quiet on the SNYDER front, as lead singer Dustin King has released a drunken rant via email regarding former SNYDER guitarist James St. Bodenschatz. The band and St. Bodenschatz parted ways in the early 1980’s following the album “Just the Tip”. St. Bodenschatz was replaced by Maypearl, TX native “Nasty” Noah Xavier Pebblebottom Wolcott III, who has been a mainstay in the band ever since. In recent years, SNYDER and St. Bodenschatz had reportedly patched up their differences, but in an email King Dut sent the Dallas Morning News, the opposite seems to be more accurate.

JIM ST. BODENSTZ… NO. YOU ARE NOT IN MEMBER. YOU ARE KICKED (expletive) OUT MY BAND. GET OIUT MY BAND. YOU FIRED. YOU ARE NOT A TOUR. U CANNOT BEG FOR SNYDER. ONLY YOUR MOM BEGS FOR SNYDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE REPLEACED BY NASTEE. ME AND RICK AR RIDING DIRTBIKES TO CELEBRATE U FIRING AGAIN, EVEN THO U NEVER BACK IN THE BANDS. IF U BEG, I (expletive) UR MOM IN TURBO’S CLOSET. GO BACK TO MORMONS BAND AND PLAY W YOUR SELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The “Rick” in question is none other than Rick Mitchell, lead singer and drummer for his own outfit “Rick Mitchell and the Metal Masters”. Mitchell also took care of the drumming duties on King’s ill-fated non-SNYDER attempt.

The Dallas Morning News is no stranger to King Dut, and SNYDER. During a tour in the late 1980’s, King and bassist “Groz” showed up at the paper in person to berate a journalist who had the audacity to insinuate SNYDER was maybe dropping off a little bit. The two tossed chairs and demanded to fight the writer, 2 on 1. They were both taken to the Dallas police station but charges were dropped when Groz promised to headline a speaking event in support of writer’s wages. He never showed. What he did do however was urinate and defecate on the spot in Dealey Plaza where President Kennedy was assassinated. A fine was issued, which to date has not been paid.

SNYDER action figures

At a 2009 press releaseSNYDERhas revealed that the band members have signed an exclusive deal with Paul Stohan Toys INC. to lend their likenesses to a line of action figures to be produced for the upcoming Christmas season.

king dut

SNYDER: Rockband

rockband snyder2

SNYDER: Rock Band is a music video game developed by Harmonix Music Systems, published by MTV Games and distributed by Electronic Arts.[4] It is the fourth major console release in the Rock Band music video game series and, like other games in the series, it allows players to simulate the playing of rock music by using controllers shaped like musical instruments. The game consists of 42 songs by the American rock group SNYDER spanning their career, along with virtual depictions of the band members performing the songs. Future downloadable contentfor the game will feature additional songs and full albums from SNYDER, such as the entirety of Fisting For Compliments shortly after the game’s release.

Death of Cimba

Cimba (April 4th, 1959- September 10th, 2009 Age:50) 

Cimba’s body was discovered by an unidentified individual and was reported to emergency personal from a pay phone across the street from the bath house. Police report that the scene wasn’t too far out of the ordinary, the room was trashed as if there had been a party, gay porn was strewn about the place and used condoms were littering the floor. While all disturbing, none of this would indicate the cause of death.

The Departure, Return and Departure of Groz

A leaked rap album allegedly features bassist Jim Grosik on vocals.“That’s not my (expletive) album, quit (expletive) trying to start shit with us,” Groz initially said. But once a few lines were recited to him, he said, “I’ll write rap albums about whatever the (expletive) I want. (expletive) (expletive) Mexicans. Kill the (expletive) Mexicans. If I want to do rap, I’ll do rap. I’ll write about what I really believe, which is that Mexicans need to be thrown in a (expletive) furnace. If you have a problem with it, kill yourself.”

Groz then officially announced he would be leaving the band. The next day however SNYDER management held a press conference with Groz where he apologized and rejoined the band,“I love all (expletive) Mexicans. Are you happy now? I am really going to miss the paychecks that come from SNYDER. And I also miss the band, I guess,” Groz said late Wednesday as he
rejoined the band. “The truth is that I leaked the rap album myself to see if anyone was interested in hearing the G-Roz freestyle and lay down a phat beat. The world is too (expletive) narrow-minded to accept me as a rap artist. People don’t wanna hear about all these (expletive) filthy Mexicans taking our jobs and eating all our food. Just because I am rich and bang hot women all day doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart and I don’t think about real issues like Mexicans and (expletive) ragheads. I care about hardworking Americans because I am one.” Groz would neither confirm nor deny the fact that he has been rich beyond belief since he was 18 years old because of SNYDER, and never worked a real day in his life. “What it comes down to is… We have a lot of (expletive) Mexicans that buy our stuff, and we can’t afford to lose that income.”

Just as it seemed that the situation had blown over, the next day Groz held his own press conference where he made another announcement. “I quit that (expletive) band again. That’s right, you heard me. They don’t want my rap songs on the SNYDER movie soundtrack, and I don’t want to be in their (expletive) movie then. I want my likeness removed, they can all go (expletive) themselves,”

Current members

  • King Dut (Dustin King)– lead vocals (1978– 1991, 1997- present)
  • Turbo Charger(Rocky Croyle) – rythym guitar, lead vocals (1978- 1996,  2002–present)
  • Mitch Masters (Rick Mitchell) – drums (2009- present)
  • Groz (Jerry Grozcia) –  (1978– 1996, 2002-present)
  • Nasty(Noah Naskarr)- lead guitar, vocals (1984-1996, 2002- present)

Former members

  • Bodie Mann(James St. Bodenschatz)–  vocals (1978–1984)
  • Helen Whoreface (Marry-Anne Whoreface)– bass (1997-2001)
  • Crippler (Chris Benoit)– lead guitar, vocals (1997-2001)
  • Lil’ Darkie(Jamon Williams)– vocals(1997-2001)
  • Skum (Travis Macon)– guitar, backing vocals (1997-2001)
  • Switch Blade (Robert Blade)– vocals (1992-1996)
  • Cimba(Justin Cimba)–  drums, percussion, vocals (1978-1996, 2002–2009 Deceased)

Discography-

Year Title Chart position Certification
US 200[1] UK[8] U.S.[5] CAN[6]
1983 Just The Tip 3 5 Platinum Platinum
1984 Pant Like A Dog 2 3 Platinum Platinum
1987 Come Inside 1 1 Platinum Platinum
1988 Great Ass Tits 1 1 Platinum Platinum
1991 All Over Your Face 6 17 Platinum Platinum
1997 Fisting For Compliments - -
2002 Mtv Unplugged Presents: SNYDER 1 2 Platinum
2009 Come Again 1 5 Platinum

 

Management-

Marty Radavanic 1977- 1982
“Litttle” Tommy Ridge 1982- 1984
Lute D’Rorick 1984- 1990
Norm O’Littletterstein 1990-2002
Billy Bearer 2002-2009
Colonel Tom “Dolemite” Dolan 2009-Current

4 responses to “Wikipedophile: SNYDER

  1. Wow. Just … wow. You put a lot of work into this.

  2. THEIR STORY MUST BE TOLD!!!

  3. Hey there! I’ve been reading your website for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Kingwood Tx! Just wanted to tell you keep up the good work!

  4. Thanks so much, be sure to check out my new blog, http://thegentlemensrevolution.wordpress.com/

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