Email Magoo

O.K. I realize it is Saturday and I probably shouldn’t be doing a rant because lets face it, I am hung over as hell. But I really felt the need to vent a little.

First of all, I work for a college as a recruiter, I talk to students who are looking to continue their education and it is a pretty cool job. The thing that really erks me though (erks me not jerks me jerks me is what your mom does after I am done violating her ass) is how so many people have dumb ass email addresses. Why do people think they have to have some email address that conforms to some image?

Some of the emails I am referring to are as follows.

Sexy_blonde_18- This is probably either some anorexic whore, or a fat slut. Or worse yet some perverse old man.

Sexydeafmomma- I will make it simple by saying anyone who puts sexy in their email address in an asshole. I was concerned about this one because I thought she meant deaf as in def which was bad enough to begin with but then if she misspelled it, that would be even worse. Then I found out she actually was deaf. You probably think that made me feel like an asshole, but it didnt because handicapped people are dumb.

Boogerfart386- That’s right boogerfart, BOOGER FART?!?!?! Can you even imagine what a booger fart is? Is its not blowing out of your ass? Is it stink shooting out of some ones nose? What the hell? Is it followed by a nasal shit, or an anal sneeze?

Playonplaya92- Let me break this one down, Play on playa. What’s worse is I called this guy and he had a ring back on his phone which made me want to kill him more and it was Hypnotize by Notorious B.I.G. I began to feel ill. That was until he answered the phone and I could tell right away it was a scrawny white boy. My suspicions were confirmed when I received his info, he was in fact a scrawny white boy.

Now I completely understand not wanting to use your name in an email address, giving any personal info out that easily is always grounds for trouble, but please do the world a favor. When you sit down to figure out an email address, make it something you can actually live up to. If you are a fat ass whore with a pimply face and a smelly vagina, don’t use supercutehottysexygal@aol.com, all you are doing is tossing out false advertising. Use something like Pleasekillme357@uglymail.com or smellycuntfatfatfatty@nastybitch.net. It would make things easier on everyone.

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