I am not a god damned basketball player

I am 6 foot 9 inches tall, which I know that is taller than usual, and I am not alone, I will include people as short as 6 foot 2 and any one taller in this. It is bad enough that it is next to impossible to buy clothing. Nothing in any store ever fits. Every once in a great while I will get lucky and find a pair of jeans that isn’t for short fat people. It is a good thing I don’t give a rat’s ass about trends, otherwise I might kill myself. Shoes aren’t quite as bad because I generally just buy boots or dress shoes, and it is normally pretty easy to find those in larger sizes.

Shirts are a different issue all together. No one seems to be able to get the idea that people over 6 foot 2 aren’t all fat. I need a shirt that is longer than a normal shirt, not one that is a little longer, but big enough around to fit eight people in there with me.

Then there is always the suggestion of ordering from a big and tall catalog. Well aside from the obvious fact that every things is both BIG and TALL. Instead of big and/or tall, I am pretty sure you need to have an AARP card to like the clothing in there. It doesn’t stop with clothing either, I don’t fit in most cars, flying is almost right out since those seats are even too small for midgets, buses are worse, the whole idea of traveling sucks.

By far the worst part about all of it though is the jack ass that comes up to you and points out that you are tall…as if by this point you hadn’t noticed. Now I have accepted the fact that I am freakishly tall, and I have a certain level of toleration, but basically there are three things these jack asses can do to cross that line. First is simply pointing it out…”God, you’re tall.” This one by itself isn’t too bad, and hey you even get referred to as God. Next is a little worse, those that try and guess how tall you are. They are always wrong when they guess, then when you tell them how tall you are they never believe you, because we all know that no one could EVER be taller than any thing they are use to. Even this by itself can be excused, because people are idiots. Then there is the last thing, the question, the thing that makes me want to stab the fucker who asked me directly in the head.Do you play basketball? The only way to possibly make it worse is when it is turned from a question to a statement…Boy I bet you’re a basketball player. No, sorry to disappoint you jackass, but I don’t play basketball, so call your bookie and let him know you were wrong so he can come and break your legs. This is always bad. Yet, somehow, it can still be worse. Combine all three. God you are tall, what are you about six three, I bet you play basketball. It is enough to make me want to start snapping necks.

Why do people think this behavior is acceptable. You don’t do the inverse to midgets. Yes I still call them midgets, because to me all you fuckers are little people. Seriously though, if the same jackass that dropped the big three on me turned around and bent over to a midget and said, God you are short, what are you two five, I bet you are a jockey huh?, then the world would be offended. So why is it o.k. to do it to tall people. Well beware you average size assholes, all a midget can do is sue you. I will knock you the fuck out.

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