I’m so god damned fucking funny

You know what’s a really creepy term?
Baby Boner.
Is it a tiny erection? Is it a baby with a hard on?
Or worse yet…is it a chubby for a baby?

Poop porn and pop corn kind of sound alike.
Of course one is a nice warm treat. Not just for the mouth but it also smells delicious.
The other usually has to many empty corn kernels to get stuck in your teeth.
See it’s gross because that joke could go either way.

So I have seen a lot of porn in my time, and what I don’t get is fisting.
I like my watch right where it is.
Then again it does say it is water resistant to 50 feet.
Do you think that would be covered under warranty?
If so how would you explain it?

Almost any word in the English language can be made gross by adding the word man to it.
Man-Sauce.
Man- Sized.
Man- Handle…that one is funny on a couple levels.
Man-Squirt.
Even worse though is if you incorporate the word man into an existing word.
Manonnaise
Mantatoes
Mancake.
Or the worst, mancake batter.

Did you ever see those signs that say “in case of emergency, break glass”?
They usually have a hose under them. They should really be more specific then that.
Is it so hard to write in case of fire, break glass? What if the emergency is a flood?
O.k., I broke the glass, now what?

If a werewolf is a man that turns in to a wolf, is a Transvestite a Werewoman?

I see ads on t.v. for prescription drugs and those people are always doing something. Working, traveling, enjoying sports or out door activities, and then they mention their problem and how a certain prescription drug helped them, and here I am lying on the couch doing nothing while they catch the world by the tail.

Then again I don’t have to take any prescription drugs. Apparently the world wasn’t all they were catching.

Who came up with the term “getting tail” to refer to sex?
Honestly if you are about to stick your penis into something with a tail, maybe you should reconsider your dating strategy.

Any story anyone could ever tell would get exponentially better if they would just add, “So then I woke up in prison”.

E-Rokk

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