There is so much stupidity in the world right now it is overwhelming.
So I guess the first thing to talk about is how obese the country is becoming. People are blaming the current trend of being a fat ass on everything from the garbage we as a country eat, to the fact that we don’t exercise to the fact that we are genetically becoming a bigger race because of chemicals in our food, and while all of that may be contributing factors the bulk of the blame should be placed on shitty parents.
Now as I am sure many of you who are constant readers know, this is an issue I have plenty of ammo for because I hate fatties, I hate stupid food trends and I fucking hate bad parents. Let me explain why first and foremost it is the parents fault. I will admit I am not the most in shape person in the world, and my beer gut will be the first clue to give that away. However I can still see my feet when I stand up and am still considered fit and not over weight, but just being overweight isn’t the problem. Being overweight implies you realize you weigh a little more than what is healthy and you can easily reduce the fatness of your huge ass to be a healthy weight again. Obesity on the other hand means you have no idea what your own genitals look like and your ankles are bigger around then my head. Most parents for the last twenty years should not have ever been parents because their kids would have been better off being raised by Michael Jackson and Hitler. If you want proof, just look at how fucked up kids are today. Listen parents if your kid needs new shoes not because their feet have grown longer but instead because they have managed to sprout cottage cheese feet. Seriously, when you’re twelve years old you shouldn’t have cankles so huge you have to tape them up and walk with crutches.
If as a parent you hear your kid wheezing after standing up from the couch or taking a shit then perhaps a little extra exercising outside of lifting food to their mouths is needed. Slap the cheese burger out of little Fatty McFatfat’s hand and save them from the heart attack they are heading for by their 13th birthday.
Diet pills, stupid weight loss products and strange foods aren’t the answer either. Spray on fake butter, diet caffeine free soda and Splenda aren’t going to do anything for your little porker except give them cancer on top of being a fat ass. If you care about your kids health, don’t give in when the fat little shit begs for the extra sleeve of double Stuf Oreos, and send there bulbous ass outside to burn some calories. I love video games just as much or more than the next guy, but I still weigh less than a metric ton.
The local radio station morning show pointed out that their should be a series of add campaigns that told people to stop being fat. I couldn’t agree more. I absolutely hate the “Truth” commercials but if their was a marketing campaign launched at getting fatty to stop eating I would be behind it 100%. Mostly because people who smoke are hated for it and yet fat people get the pitty of millions. I myself used to be a smoker, but quit recently due to the fact that my wife is pregnant and the price of smoking is ri-god damned- diculous in this state, but I stil side with smokers. It is a free country, it is their choice to smoke, unless they are a complete fucking tard they already know the dangers and just don’t care. On the other hand every one says that Tubolards have a disease and they can’t control their eating. Sure they can, don’t eat two gallons of ice cream in one sitting or if your two ton buns of fun HAVE to waddle into McDonald’s try ordering only one extra value meal instead of eight. Fat people deserve no pitty, they deserved to be kicked, spat upon and made fun of until they either lose weight or take themselves out, and just a tip on option two, don’t try to off yourself by hanging your fat ass will snap the rope before it does any good.
Maybe I am to harsh on fatties, but they are disgusting, they are everywhere, and I hate the fact that I am the ass hole for pointing out the obvious fact that they are the way they are because they just don’t care and want all of us to feel bad.
Fuck you fatty. Fuck you.
So exercise and diet are key, but I must point out it that child hood obesity is still the parents fault for being weak willed or neglectful, and for every pound their cellulite ridden offspring is overweight they should be lashed with a cane.
So in closing if I were to make a commercial, I would model it after the crying Indian littering commercials, only I would show a fat kid doing the truffle shuffle then eating a box of Twinkies and show some starving kid from a third world country slapping flys away and crying while screaming “share the food fat ass!”