I am a genius, you are a fucking moron.

More and more I have been ranting about how stupid, fat, lazy and useless kids today are.  I really am not that worried about my own child because I am going to nurture her imagination, speak to her as an intelligent being and not continually lower the bar so she doesn’t have to challenge herself the way a lot of the dumb shits who have spawned in the last 18 years do. Also I will smack her when she’s dumb.

Now I know anyone that reads this that has had a child in the last 18 years is going to bitch at me, but let me preempt you. If your kid can point to the country it lives in and the Pacific Ocean on an unlabeled map, and isn’t over weight by more then ten pounds, I will let you off the hook. You at least did the minimum of what should be required of you to be a parent. On the other hand, if your beloved little fat ass doesn’t even know what a map is unless they think you are talking about a video game, or they don’t know who the first four presidents of the United States of America were, but they can tell you all the winners and top three runners up to every American Idol, then this is for you. Kill your kids, light their corpses on fire, and kill yourself, and if your kid was a little slut, boy or girl, kill everyone they ever fucked just in case so the stupidity can’t spread. I will even support you; I am a big fan of the 72nd trimester abortion.

All this bullshit that has been dumped on the general populace is beginning to choke us out of existence. What happens to “The buck stops here”? What happened to people taking responsibility for their actions? Ever since Tipper Gore and her PMRC got together in ’84 and decided to bleed their menses of censorship all over the country it has given people an excuse. I remember a time when if a psycho killed someone and said “The Devil made me do it” no one cared, and in fact knew the psycho was just looking to push the blame.

If music, movies, comic books, video games and TV shows are allowed to depict or describe violence then that MUST be the reason that kids misbehave. Right? Wrong mother fucker. Let’s play a little game. Imagine you are little Billy’s parent. You have decided to take little Billy to the play ground to interact with some of the other little busted condoms…I mean children in the neighborhood. You sit down and become immersed in your PDA, or your Laptop, or your newspaper and phase out the outside world. Meanwhile little Billy kicks the shit out of little Joey because he wants his toy truck. You don’t noticed, Billy gets the truck and at the end of the day you go home. Now little Billy has it in his head that any time he wants something he can get it through violence. It had nothing to do with any media at all. It was the fact that you were a shitty parent.

Stop censoring everything out there because it may make your precious little shit a horrible person to be around and start parenting. I grew up listening to Twisted Sister, Motley Crue, Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, AC/DC, Anthrax, Armored Saint, WASP, Cradle of Filth, Gwar and all other such “evil” bands, I watched all of the Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th movies as they came out, as well as countless other violent films. I have always played violent video games, and I NEVER KILLED ANYONE. Reason being, my mom took the time to explain to me that all of it was entertainment. She also took the time to take a look at what I was doing. She never spied on me or did anything to invade my privacy, but she made sure that she knew what I was into. It let her know that even though I was listening to WASP, I myself wasn’t out tossing rancid meat at people.

If I ever did step out of line she didn’t rush me to a therapist and tell them what things MUST have caused this out break. No, she beat my ass, and after I stopped crying, she told me why, and if I did it again, she beat my ass again. Guess what, I didn’t act like a little demon growing up.

Not that we have behavioral problems covered, I am just going to mention childhood stupidity since I recently did an entire blog on it. If you haven’t seen your kid reading a book that wasn’t assigned to them with in the last two months, then guess what. Your kid is a moron. You have failed as a parent and have spawned a dummy. You can try to fix it though. Take all of their shit that you just HAD to buy for them. Take their cell phone (which by the way no kid should have a cell phone until at the earliest college), take their mp3 players, p.c. access and television. Take it all away. Don’t tell them they have to read, but let a few books lying around. If your kid doesn’t pick up one and get interested then it is too late. Kill them and start over. Maybe you will do better with the next one.

I was never forced to read. I LOVED to read. I still love to read. I still read at least two books a week, if not more. I love it because not only do I always learn cool random shit that makes me smarter than you, but I get to drift off to a place that isn’t filled with your fat moronic asshole kids.

So yes America, for the most part I hate your children. I will be honest though, for once it isn’t their fault. In this case the blame for my hatred can be passed…TO YOU. I will make it my personal mission from this point on to beat the living bejesus out of every person I see that I feel is raising a dumb ass, fat little hellion.

Pray to whatever god you worship that you never have to face my wrath. Remember, I listened to angry music, played violent video games, and watched nasty movies.

Why do I know that I am the bright shining hope for the youth of America? Because just as I started this sentence Guns N Roses “Sweet Child O’ Mine” blared out of my speakers. Fuck Yeah!

E-Rokk

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