I gotta fuckin hole in my mouth.

So yesterday I finally got one of my wisdom teeth taken out. For the past few weeks I have been having the worst headaches I have ever had. I mean, not to sound like a pussy, but they would get so bad that I would black out from the pain. I thought they were sinus related, so I got some sinus medicine and hoped for the best.

Last Tuesday the game was up. I left work early because I felt like I was going to pass out. When I got home I did in fact pass out. When I came too I was in the worst pain I had ever felt. It was like Andre the Giant’s corpse had been reanimated and he was bouncing on my head. My wife took me to the emergency room when I got to meet a colorful cast of characters.

First off, I would like to say, there are only two places in the world where you can go and see people that are dumber than you have ever seen before. I mean it you could see some one out in public somewhere doing some dumb shit and think…buy that is really dumb, but if you go to either one of these two places with in four minutes you will see some one dumber. The first place is the fair. Now granted, the bigger the more dumbasses are around, but still, you will see some really really dumb fucking people. The second place is the emergency room of your local hospital.

Anyway, we walk into the emergency room waiting room, which to me is a confusing fucking concept. If I am there for a fucking emergency I don’t have time to wait. Well while I am sitting there, directly across from me is a boy I will refer to as Tuberculosis Boy. Now I don’t know for sure if he had TB, but he was wearing a surgical mask and coughing a lot. Something told me he wasn’t a real life Doogie Houser with a smoking problem. We decided to move to another area. Sitting there was a dude who looked like he crawled right out of a music video from 1993. He had tattoos on his fingers, which would be cool if they didn’t say “COOL” and “DUDE”. I swear all this guy needed was a bright pink or neon green fanny pack. At any rate, he had his leg in a cast, and when I asked him what he did, he informed me that he blew all the tendons out of his knee PLAYING HACKY SACK!!! That’s right, he fucked up his knee playing hacky sack. Let that sink in, then factor in the fact that he was pushing forty. Gee, I wonder how long he has been living in his mom’s basement.

The next person I met deeply disturbed me because I am absolutely sure she was just hanging out in the waiting room. She came in after us and never went to triage or to check in, and she didn’t seem to be waiting on anyone, and over three hours later when we left she was still there. During the time I was trapped in the waiting room she made it her mission to talk to everyone, find out what was wrong with them, then try and tell a more impressive story, but she was a disgusting fat ass and no one believed she really went wind surfing.

Fast forward past the injured hockey player, the drunks and the dumbasses that broke shit doing shit they shouldn’t be doing, and I am not sitting in a room waiting to be seen by a doctor. Now this was a big bay that had been sectioned off into four smaller rooms. Apparently the kid across from me was in the emergency for being stupid. I mean it. At one point, he and the chick he was with were talking about the periodic table because he was studying for a test and every answer was that he was an idiot. Any way, they got on to talking about how to split atoms, and the chick explained how the process works, and why it sets off a chain reaction. Bright boy then says and I quote “If that happens when you split an atom, then why don’t I explode if I cut myself?” I honestly can’t put into words how stupid this was. Just thinking about it made my eyes want to pop out of my head and roll around on the floor.

A doctor finally comes back and tells me that the nurse put me in the wrong room and since my headaches were so intense I should be in a private room with the lights off. At that point my headache was at bay and I probably would have been find, but I wanted to get the hell away from Mr. Dumbass before he infected me with his stupidity.

Eventually it was determined that my headaches were caused by my wisdom tooth. Apparently it had grown out with out any problems, but it had no nerve in it. It was what is referred to as a shell tooth. The tooth was pushing against my gums causing an infection. The infection caused a small pocket or cyst to form which pushed directly on the nerve in my jaw and gave me the intense pain.

So anyway, yesterday I had the tooth removed and got all doped up on pain killers to numb the pain. Thought the headaches are gone I am afraid the stupidity I had to endure that night will haunt me forever.

Anyway, that’s all I got today kiddies.

E-Rokk out.

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