New and Exciting Reasons to Kill Yourself 3

Hi. How are you? Not so good? Probably because you have all of four teeth in your mouth and look like a model for a Say no to meth poster. Your life is probably going no where and you work for a cotton candy stand at the fair. Instead of bringing joy and happiness you bring fear and sickness due to a combination of your raggedy knotted rats nest hair, your horrible teeth, the black rings around your eyes from your drunken father beating you after he had his way with you, and the swastika you wear around your neck. Go ahead though, keep bitching about your job in front of the little kids who come to get their cotton candy. You are gonna want to make sure that if your horrendous skanky appearance didnt scar them for life, your attitude will. Go head and drink as many bottles of the undiluted Sno Cone concentrate as you can get your hands on the dive head first in to the cotton candy machine while it is in operation. If that doesnt kill you, go dive off the top of the Ferris wheel.

Hey fatty, how are things? How were all 8 hours of your day time talkshows follwed by your four hours of reading celebrity gossip magazines? No fatty, Brad Pitt will never love you. Did you make sure to spend enough time posting your dumb shit ideas on message boards all over the web? Oh I am sorry, you were busy taking shitty pictures of your fat ass self trying to look not so vomit inducing than posting them on myspace and using shitty song titles and lyrics from some lame ass band as your captions.

Ask yourself honestly lard shit, when was the last time some one saw your genitals, hell you fat fuck, when was the last time you saw your own? Get a damn job and get out of the house while you still can. You know, before they have to cut a hole in the wall to get your bulbous corpse out with a crane. Just do the world a favor and drown yourself. It is like a big wet hug. Hugs, you know the things you claim you never got when you blame your parents for you obesity by saying they didnt love you enough. Well you were right, they didnt love you. Know one ever will. So go. Do it. Stop reading this and kill yourself.

Hey slut. It is me, the one guy in the world who didnt fuck you. I have everything Ineed, I dont have any room for any of the diseases you and your tainted stink hole vagina are trying to give me. Listen, wear all the short skirts and cake on as much make up as you want. There isnt enough stuff in the world to cover up your kind of ugly. I know, you get along better with guys than girls, thats because you are dumber than a bag of shoes and the only reason men talk to you is to toss there beef stick inside you. Stop getting drunk and saying that your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. If you nasty vag was a milkshake, I imagine the milk is more like cottage cheese. No one wants to see your stupid white girl dance. God hates you. I hate. Everyone hates you. You are human garbage and worth less than a cock zit. You are worth less than the puss inside a cock zit.

Your crotch is so diseased the CDC is fairly certain that it is the origin of the avian flu. The next time your hideous orc face shatters a mirror, take a shard and stick it in your belly button, then pull it up to your chin. Trust me, no one will miss you.

Hey there buddy. Oh, you want me to call you GKash or TDogg or Realstreetz? Listen ass hole, your parents both have mullets and you look like a complete mo in your oversized FUBU gear. You are not black, nor would any black man be seen with you. You and your dumb ass friends in your fake car club are not a gang. Your shitty little stainless steel dragon necklace you got from Hot Topic is not bling. Wearing Axe or Tag does not attract women, throwing up your fingers to look like gang signs does not make you intimidating. Putting plastic wal mart spinners on your 1987 Dodge Aries K does not make it a G Ride. Maybe I am wrong though. Maybe Tupac really is still alive and I missed the message. You know, since I was to busy graduating from college and getting a job to sit around an misinterpret rap lyrics. Lets lock you in a car, I will get a few friends to run by spraying you with an Uzi, and we will see if you live.

You are white, the man is not trying to keep you down, you are the man. Tell you what, go in to the heart of Detroit, walk in to the first bar you see that advertises Colt, and strat screaming what hood you rep, then insult everyone that has never heard of the white trash trailer park you grew up in. Then, tell all the customers to kiss your black ass. If my guess is correct you are to much of a pussy to actually go to a black neighborhood so that idea probably wont work. Hmm, tell you what, just shove a spoon in your eye and dont stop pushing till your dead.


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