Kicker of Ass of the week. 5-6-07

this week’s kicker of ass of the week is…

David Fucking Hasa…Hasshell…hassassacell…fuck. Oh, David Fucking Hasselhoff!!!

dh.jpg

Now I know he spent a lot of time in the news last week because of his drunken antics in front of his daughter, but really. Who gives a shit? I don’t. He is virtually a GOD in Germany, and at the very least a lower deity here in the states.

Let me ask you do you have an impressive portfolio like this?

Fugitives Run
Shaka Zulu: The Citadel
Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical
Nick Fury: Agent of Shield
NightMan
Ring of the Musketeers
The Bulkin Trail
The Final Alliance
W.B., Blue and the Bean
Casa 4
Zärtliche Chaoten II
Perry Mason
Starke Zeiten
Bridge Across Time
The Cartier Affair
The Love Boat
Semi-Tough
Pleasure Cove
Starcrash
Revenge of the Cheerleaders
The Dean Martin Show
Robot Chicken
Feste der Volksmusik
The Wayne Brady Show
Willkommen bei Carmen Nebel
Tussen de sterren
The New Guy
Just Shoot Me!
Hollywood Squares
The Big Breakfast
The Target Shoots First
The Big Tease
Dear God
UFC VI: Clash of the Titans
Saturday Night Live
David Hasselhoff Live & Forever
NBC 60th Anniversary Celebration
Star Search
Diff’rent Strokes
One to Grow On
Logan’s Run
Christmas from Hollywood

Oh yeah, he also did some crappy shows like Baywatch and Knight Rider.

He also used his golden pipes to release a slew of albums in both the U.S. and Germany which in my opinion is music from the gods themselves. Behold the list…

David Hasselhoff Sings America Gold Edition
The Night Before Christmas
David Hasselhoff Sings America
Magic Collection
Hooked on a Feeling
David Hasselhoff
Looking for … the Best
Du
You are Everything
Everybody Sunshine
David
Crazy for You
Looking for Freedom
Knight Lover
Lovin’ Night Rocker

Look at that last title…”Lovin Night Rocker”. If that doesn’t just scream out, “I’m a mother fucking bad ass sexual fucking machine!!!” than nothing does, and if you say otherwise I will fucking beat you.

Still not convinced? Then why not try some of his product line. I mean the man has a whole line of bathroom products such as colognes, razors, tooth brushes and shampoo as well as thousands…literally thousands of products baring his image. Then there is all of the German products, hell he is like a fucking Wal Mart over there.

If all of that still doesn’t do it for you, that son of a bitch can fly…

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