MILF Does A Body Good

People heart Champ Kennedy.

I don’t know what it is: maybe it’s my humor; maybe people are interested in my knowledge of the occult, arcane, and esoteric; maybe people just love my furious rock hair. Whatever it is, it’s undeniable; the Champ is good people.

So an equation has been developed by (The Jage) for what The Champ is looking for in a woman.

Feel free, ladies, to throw yourself in the equation here and see how you fare. Maybe you’ll get lucky and be “one of my kind.” However, I’m sorry ladies, The Champ is off the table; he’s already met the woman of his dreams. Feel free to live vicariously though and see if maybe you could have been that lucky Mrs. Kennedy.

I know E-Rokk and The Jage will have more comments to make on this subject and we’ll probably keep a running piece going on our love of MILFs (and, the Heavens help me, GILFs). Feel free to add any comments on the subject.

30-50 years of age = y

At least one child = c

Divorced, separated, widowed = m

Sever emotional or psychological issues, hopefully concerning men = e

Not quite fit or general lack of personal upkeep (but not lack of personal hygiene) (dubbed the “I don’t give a shit anymore” factor) = x

So, the equation should look like this:

(y + c) x (m + e) + x = MILF (or GILF)

So some factors change within this equation. For instance, if you’re a potential GILF, you not only add the number of your own children (c), but multiply that factor by the number of grandchildren you have (g).

This can get kind of complicated, but feel free to ask for help. Give me your details and we’d be happy to put you into the equation.

I (E-Rokk) would also like to add a few factors that may further complicate things. There are on most occasions that I am picking up MILFs that I like to hook up the three way. In some rare cases I have been able to convince a pair of MILF sister to return to my boneitorium. One time I discovered the mecca of twin MILF banging which is identical twin MILFs.

The following equations are going to begin getting so advanced that we will refer to them as Quantum MILFysics. Identical twin MILFs will from here on out be represented by I.

In a simple world one would simply multiply the entire MILFgebraic equation by I, but it is not that simple. The fact that the MILFs are identical twins allows one to discount some of the other factors. In most cases you can drop factors M and E an replace X with I

Next you must rate the twins on a hotness scale of 1 – 10, remember, they are identical twins which is unicorn of mature poking so the get a base score of at least 4. The hotness factor will be represented by H.

Your equation for MILF/GILF identical twins should look something like this…

(y + h) i (c + h) + i = ITMILFs (or ITGILFs)

The same equation works for the mother daughter MILF + GMILF tag team combo as this is almost as rare to hook up. In this case the H factor base is reduced to 3

The next step in Quantum MILFysics are what I like to refer to as the “Positive What If Factors”

For example, you ask your question “What if…” then plug in one ore more of the following factors.

How drunk is she? = D

How much skin is she showing? = S

How many Poison/Motley Crue/White Snake songs has she sang along too? = U

How many drunken female friends will she be bringing along? = F

How many “exotic” piercings does she have?= P

—-in this example MILFs or GILFs are assumed to be singular, not twins

((ys + cp) xd (mu + es) + xd) F = What If MILF (or GILF)

The next step in Quantum MILFysics are what I like to refer to as the “Negative What If Factors”

Is she a NASCAR fan? =N

Is she a Toby Keith/Creed fan? = T

Does she have a VD?= V

Does she know your own mother/grandmother?= K

These factors are all supposed to be subtracted from the equation…

{((ys-n) + (cp-t)) xd ((mu-v) +(es-k) + xd} F = What If MILF (or GILF)

The final step in Quantum MILFysics are I like to refer too are “Cock Block Factors”. A CBF is anything that would make you think about passing on the MILF or GILF if they were any other chick.

Is she still married? = O

Are her tits negative when checked against the titty chart? = T

Is she the bartender (therefore a tramp)? = B

When factoring int the CB factors you should multiply them together than use that answer to divide the entire equation.

{((ys-n) + (cp-t)) xd ((mu-v) +(es-k) + xd} F
———————————————
(OTB)

There you have it. You don’t always have to use Quantum MILFysics to determine if you should let her own your bone for the evening, in most cases a basic MILFgebraic equation will give you the answer, but if you find yourself in the midst of a MILF storm and you want to make sure you are taking the right lady or ladies home for the evenin, study Quantum MILFysics and know the equations, the factors and all of the related ratings of hotness and titties. You won’t regret it.

As an after thought, I (E-Rokk) have realized there are some cases in which I am too drunk to remember those complicated equations. If you find yourself in this position and all you care about is banging your beef hammer down around tuna town you can use basic MILFrithmetic.

Let You = U

Let MILF = M

Let Climax = C

If u+m=c then go for it, but remember this only applies when you are very VERY drunk. You wouldn’t want to pork a fatty and remember it.

2 responses to “MILF Does A Body Good

  1. I didn’t see a love for Nickelback or a Tiger tat on the inner thigh listed as part of the equation

  2. well i think both of those can be applied under my Quantum MILFysics regarding hair bands and exotic body modification.

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