I hate this stupid chain email/ bulletin shit. I know I have said it before, but I am fucking serious this time. First off, Baby Caleb. Fuck you, I beat up that ridiculous fake baby. How about that. Yup I completely made up a baby, then I beat the living bejesus out of it. Then to make you feel bad I took a bunch of different babies that actually were abused and tried to convince you it was all the same baby, and you believed me because your all fucking idiots and your reposted what I put up over and over again. Then I set up pay pal accounts where you can send money for the fake baby’s fake family. Really the money just goes to me, I in turn use that money to come to your house and beat the bejesus out of you and your kids to stop the stupidity from spreading. Mother fuck shit.
Then there is my new favorite, the one going around that the newest sport in Alaska is clubbing baby seals. WAKE THE FUCK UP. First things first, why do walruses go to Tupperware parties? To find a tight seal!!! Ah Ha ha ha ha ha. Anyway you fucking morons, all off the seals featured in the pictures of this “sport” are fur seals, which are, and have been on the endangered species list. This makes it completely illegal to kill them. I hate you. My new sport is going out and capturing people that fall for this bullshit and holding them prisoner in my basement and over a slow painful time I will burn off their genitals in the most excruciating ways I can think of. Probably chemical/electrical burns so it takes a really long time. It is really the only way to make sure this doesn’t continue.
Don’t you people remember the great hoaxes of rotten.com, Bonsai Kitten, kill the bunny and all of the other countless web hoaxes. Hell I posted a picture of a venomous duck to accompany an article I wrote on wikipedia talking about Venereal Diseases (get it VD, Venomous Duck) and they called the picture a host and removed the article completely even though I explained the duck was just a joke and had to do with a term that people used instead of VD. The point is hoaxes are funny but when you fucking dumb asses take it too far and start to bug me with your dumb shit I want to rip out your throats with my teeth. Fuck off.
I guess what I am getting at is that for a long time this website was dedicated to making fun of the nation’s stupidly, but now, like a cancer, stupidity rules the nation. Apparently just as we are becoming the fattest and shortest nation on Earth, we are also becoming the stupidest and unfortunately we aren’t dying off quickly enough to weed out the dumbasses and allow the rest of us to evolve.
We should all Jihad each other rather than wait for terrorists to do it for us. Kill your neighbor then kill yourself. That’s right I said it.