There are so many times people ask me for my sage-like advice, because lets face it I am wise beyond my years and a scholar for the ages. I am one of those people that doesn’t act like he is better than you, he just IS better than you. Anyhow, I have decided that rather than just pointing out all of the faults of the stupid for the intelligent to laugh at, that I would actually share some of my incomparable intelligence with people who write in.
My girlfriend and I are in the process of moving in together (I am moving in to her place to be more specific) and we keep fighting over every little detail. She keeps telling me that there are things of mine that she “will not have in her home”. They were things that were fine and she never said anything about when they were at my place and always on display, mostly girlie posters from different bars as well as neon drink signs and things of that nature. How do I get her to understand that I don’t really need those things, but if she wouldn’t talk to me like a child I would be happy to give them away to a friend or something.
Tom T. Tulsa, Ok.
Well Tom, next time she mouths off to you, you crack that bitch in the face. You said it your self, you’re moving into her place, her domain, you have to quickly establish dominance. Just punch her in the face and say, don’t smart off to me, you’re the one making me move into this hell hole.
On the other hand, what the fuck are you doing with beer girl posters and neon signs? What kind of shit head, douche bag frat boy are you? Let me talk to your girl a moment.
Hey there Tom’s girl, what are you doing? That guy is a complete loser. Look, he is even considering punching you in the face after you offer him a place to live. He probably works some minimum wage dead end job because he spent all his time in college at the frat house trying to score with intoxicated high school chicks. Tell him to buy a pair of jeans that fit, through away his ratty old baseball hat and flip flops get a real fucking job and get out of your life. Drop that zero and get with the hero. Me being that hero.
Tom might bitch that I double crossed him and stole his dame, but lets face it, I am a god who walks among men and I shall steal your woman, eat your food and drink your booze if I so desire.
Tom, I hope this helped, Your girlfriend says high and that she is much happier pleasuring me with her mouth and vagina on a regular basis now than she could have ever been with you. Glad I could hep you get your life in order.