Kicker of Ass of the Week- 9/3/07

Our KoAotW this week is none other than Phylis Canion.


Phylis lives in a little town called Cuero, TX and is believed to have found the corpse of none other than “The Goat Sucker”. Before any of you start to worry, no, the JaGe isn’t dead. Though his nickname through high school and college may in fact have been the goat sucker I am refeing to El Chupacabra, not some one who fellates animals.You don’t believe her claim to have found a beast that holds rank with creatures like Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, The Roswell aliens, Iraqi weapons of mass destruction and of course the REAL killer that set up O.J. (ooo an O.J. Simpson joke? Really? Is that even still funny? Oh well, guess I’ll call up Bill and see if he has any of those “special” cigars left.) well too bad, she has the head in her freezer and is having it sent away for DNA testing to prove it isn’t just an ugly dog.

For those of you that are morons, El Chupacabra, or as I call him on poker night, the big Chupe are responsible for carrying off chickens or slaying goats and cows. The big thing to keep in mind is that the drain there victims complete of blood. This is what makes TBC (the big Chupe) so interesting. See at first it was believed that El Chupacabra may have been a lizard like alien. If that is true, then the fact that it went after cows and goats could link it to mid century reports from Russia of aliens that would land a slaughter cows. If it is found to be a terrestrial creature then perhaps it could be linked to the legend of vampires. I mean hell there have been plenty of legends of Drac turning into a wolf, and why would this creature be limited to only one continent? Unless its like the Duck Billed Platypus (not be be confused with the venomous duck).

Even if this is a hoax it still rules, so hats off to you Phylis

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