It’s 9/11 2007…Can I get a pilot’s license…or a what what?

Yes, I can! Mostly because I’m white, but lets face it, even if I got one it would still take me 3 hours to get on the fucking plane going through security. God forbid I brought a bottle of cologne along with me or I might get locked up as the next Carlos the Jackal. Wait. What’s that? Oh we only focus on middle eastern terrorists? So then replace mister Ilich Ramírez Sánchez with Abu-Jin-Ha-Zu-Akman-Il-Tibur.

Psst…I made up that last name, but you wouldn’t have fucking known. Hell I could have made up Ilich Ramírez Sánchez and you probably wouldn’t have known. 90% of you probably thought the Jackal was a half witted Bruce Willis movie. Now realize that we can “Never Forget” today…mostly because every fucking media outlet in the world tells us not too, but why is that if I ever say the word “terrorist” in conversation people immediately assume a smelly, towel headed Arab? Now look, I am not some sandal wearing, dope smoking, long haired racial equality hippie that thinks every one should get along. Hell, I know all med weren’t created equal. Just look at how much better I am at life. It does piss me off though that when I am on a city bus or out walking the streets I see people shy away from middle easterners. Why?

Has the media been so successful in their”Never Forget” onslaught that all of you, as Jabba would say, weak minded fools have forgotten anything before six years ago? Don’t you remember any of these guys?

Army of God – American pro-life terrorist group
Kahane Chai – Jewish Terrorists
Khalistan Commando Force- Indian Terrorists
IRA- Irish Republican Army
Basque- Spanish and French Terrorists
SNLA – Scottish National Liberation Army
Action Directe – French Terrorists
ALF- Animal Liberation Front
PETA & PETA2- Oh Yeah…these assholes are definitely terrorists
An Gof – English (Cornish) Terrorists
PFLP- Popular Front for Liberation of Palestine

Oh yeah let’s not forget the white ass holes like Extreme Straight Edge kids, Neo -Nazis and the KKK. So to all the little ol’ ladies on the bus shying away from Abu, remember, you’re American which means the ENTIRE world thinks you’re an asshole and wants to kill you for one reason or another.

You know what I will always remember from 9/11 though? As I was watching the events unfold on the news and swilling beer whilst scarfing pizza and remarking to my room mate that “some serious shit’s going down” I kept focusing on the Verizon sign that was perfectly positioned behind the twin towers. Now don’t get me wrong, I have been a Verizon customer since 2001 (probably because the sign stuck out in my head so much and I went with their service) but wouldn’t it be funny if the “pilots” coordinated their efforts on Verizon phones? Hell then you could have to sit through 300,000 more hours of shitty conspiracy theory videos on the internet.

Now I know that the FBI, Department of Homeland Security and god knows who else has already looked this page over because of its red flag content, but the fact is that is the response I am hoping for. Not necessarily that the federal government takes interest in my page, but that people in general look at it, get provoked and realize the terrorism is EVERYWHERE! Hell, in most countries its a way of life. Why is it such a travesty that it happened on U.S. soil? Because we’re American? Hell I’m surprised that that particular point didn’t get us fucked with long ago.

Look at the fact that all over the world, not just the middle east, people are wiped out EVERY DAY for having different beliefs than some one else. This shouldn’t be a moment that defines our culture. This should be just another fucking day. You know kind of the way December 7th has become. Or do’t you remember that that was a day that actually should “…live in infamy”.

I hate all of you.

Be sure to check out our other super fun 9/11 articles.

Fuck You Patriot Day!

Happy 9/11

One response to “It’s 9/11 2007…Can I get a pilot’s license…or a what what?

  1. Well yeah, but The Pearl Harbour Attacks isn’t quite as catchy as “9/11”

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