Well boys and girls, the New Hampshire primary is out of the way with Clinton and McCain on the forefront of their respective parties, but it was Fredward V. Duck and the Ultimate Warrior representing, or as the kids say “Representin'” or “Reppin” the Why Not party. Now once again because he has already received the Why Not party’s nomination he does not have to take part in any of the primaries, though to continue to build recognition and trust among voters he and the Ultimate Warrior will be attending every primary.
If exit polls were any indication Fredward and Warrior already have this race locked up and should be on the way to the White house. Irene Stombach of Portsmouth, NH had this to say “Clinton didn’t do a damn thing when her husband was getting fucked by that pleasantly plump tramp, does that mean she isn’t going to do anything when this country gets fucked by a bad economy and shitty jobs? So she cried on T.V.. Big fuckin deal bitch. And McCain? That geezer is so old, Moses was going to be his running mate the first time he tried his hand at politics, at least until McCain said he wasn’t worried about the “Jew vote”. There is no hope for either party. My vote goes to the Duck”.
Irene wasn’t the only one that felt like the two parties had failed her. Jacob McGoen from Manchester, NH made it clear that he was let down with all of the candidates except Fredward. “Just who do these jackasses think they are? They are all a bunch of lying morons who will say anything to try and get our votes. If they aren’t patting each other on the back for how well their representing their respective parties they are busy stabbing each other in the back. It’s all horse shit…horse shit.”
After the bulk of the votes had been counted in the primary Fredward and Warrior addressed the crowd. Fredward gave a powerful speech that was precise, to the point and very honest. “Ladies and gentlemen of New Hampshire, thank you for your confidence in me and in the Why Not party. We have come far as a nation, let us not fall from all we have achieved by having the wool pulled over our eyes. It is time America takes care of America first. ”
Then of course the Warrior weighed in, “Don’t have an orgasm on me honey, save it for later!. I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you, you gotta take that object out of your mouth! America, like the writing on the wall from our great forefathers from beyond, there will never be a time when either you or I will care about the things that other normal people do. Abnormal is the way of life for us we care not for nobody or anything. Only you America and I to you, can give you what you want and you to me. The challenge of combat. The challenge to prove to one another who deserves to stand atop the many men that have already fallen. They will fall like the others have, I promise. “