Movie View: Beowulf


“I’ve Come To Kill Your Monster”

In this new age of CG movies, we often expect too much from films these days.Then after we see them, we say “eh”.Well, Beowulf is kinda like that.

This is not a bad movie. It’s actually pretty good, and the best movie version of “Beowulf” I’ve seen.The CG is actually pretty decent, and sometimes almost feels as if the characters you are watching are real.Well, i mean they are real but you are actually watching CG versions of them.

The man who calls himself Beowulf travels far and long to slay monsters that are terrifying towns and people’s sometime in the middle ages.Then he comes across a monster so vile instead of killing it…he has sex with it.Of course, i mean i would too.Come on people…it’s Angelina J.Now, this is after he kills her child, which was the actual monster causing chaos in the village.

So he gets her knocked up, and she must have been doing some pretty hefty drugs while she was pregnant, because for some reason she gives birth to a dragon.Beowulf is king at this time but still decides to finish the job.The movie is pretty much “it all just happens again way down the line” kinda story, but it’s fun.

It’s a classic story, remade in CG.The acting is so so.

But hey, the Director’s Cut DVD is coming out soon, so give it a try.I’m sure the film was much better in 3D at the theaters.

Really, it’s not terrible.

7 out of 10.

– StraTT

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