This week’s Kicker of Ass of The Week is…George Washington!!!
Sly-ass mother fucker
George gets to be KoAoTW this week because his birthday got myself and almost everyone else (except the rest of the Hey Stupid Staff) a free day off of work. Not only was the guy the first U.S. President (unless you’re one of those fuckers who thinks they are clever for saying that John Hanson was the first president, even though he was only a “President in Congress” during the days of the Continental Congress. Besides, he was the third person to hold that position anyway you asshole and that’s why no one celebrates his birthday) the leader of the colonial military the first time we kicked Britain’s (I purposely left out great because soccer sucks and their teeth are all fucked up) ass and an all around stand up guy, but he had a pocket full of horses AND fucked the shit out of bears.
So thanks a lot Georgie boy. Some one should name a city or sixteen after you, or maybe a few counties, or hell even schools, bridges, neighborhoods and parks. Maybe they should build a monument for you that some how commemorates your giant wang.