So I woke up one morning to find my floor soaked by my air conditioner. Obviously the disgusting liquid came from the AC, much like a miscarriage pours from the vagina of the mother-machine. I tried all sorts of things to stop this mess. I put pans under the AC, towels, and that’s about it. The pans worked great. They also made my floor mysteriously soaken wet. This went on for weeks. I even at one point stopped using the AC so that I could let the hot Texan sun evaporate the water through the window. That worked okay. But the water came back after me like the T-1000 in Terminator 2. Tonight, while “studying for math”, I had to put my foot down and destroy this water monster. I tore off the AC cover, and started looking at the inner workings. Nothing jumped out. Except the lever on the side that said “Vent: Open / Close”. HMMMM. Very interesting! The vent was “closed”. So I OPENED it! And then I went outside and tore the cover off the outside of the AC. It was bone-dry inside, much to my chagrin. Then a small trickle started to come out from behind a tiny black door. I took a pair of needle-nose pliers and tore the door off. The gates of hell had been opened. About a gallon of fucking water came rushing out of the AC unit from behind the mystery door. And what a mystery it truly is, because the door serves no goddamn purpose. I mean, who wants water to flow into their house and not drip outside into the grass? I think one of those monkeys from maintenance either accidently or purposely shut my vent. You do not sneak into The Weapon of the Future’s apartment and shut his vent. Goddamnit. Problem solved.
- It was a Hell of a decade
- The Cambria County War Memorial.
- Power down the self destruct sequence.
- “MY KOSHER MOTORCYCLE AND A SWITCHBLADE KNIFE”
- Even up.
- Tragedy in Colorado
- SNYDER announces reunion. World climaxes.
- Adventures in Stand-up
- WILLY THE POOR IN: CONSPIRACY THEORIES
- Way of the Road presents: Road Chode
- WILLY THE POOR IN: WILLY IS A DEAD BEAR MISS HIM MISS HIM
- Willy the Poor and Swine’s Big Day
- Willy the Poor and the Ass Party
- Willy the Poor and the Asian-Six-Holed-Sex-Doll
- The Amazing Misadventures of Willy the Poor