18 months ago I posted a simple list of things I strongly dislike entitled “I Hate”. At the time my goal was simply to put together a couple of examples of the levels of stupid that human kind can produce. What I ended up with was the fact that I created a place for people to come along and vent their frustrations about things that they hate, or more interestingly, a place where people would stop by to criticize me and believe that I would actually care what they have to say.
This morning while going over all of my stats I realized that my original “I Hate” post was gaining some momentum and become a popular read, so I took a hint from Hollywood and decided to expound upon that idea by making a sequel…”I Also Hate”
Girls who think giving a blow job is beneath them: Honestly ladies, lets face it right now, all guys like having their cocks sucked. I am completely convinced most gay dudes are gay because enough women refused to suck on their love pole. Now I am not saying bitches have to be all slutty about it and sit around talking about sucking a dick, but it should be something you have no problem doing. Think of it this way ladies, there are only so many things you can do with your vag and almost every other woman out there can do the same things with theirs, but possessing strong fellatio skills will almost ensure your man won’t be running around on you. Besides, it isn’t like we bitch when you ask us go down on you, hell, most of us love it. So come on girls, get your shit together and suck a dick.
People who like diesel: Look kids, diesel fuel is not cool. If you don’t have something to fucking haul, absolutely no one needs a dually with a 22 cylinder engine that runs on fucking diesel. Your argument that it is cheaper went out the window a year ago, the argument that it gets better gas mileage is a fucking lie and you know it, and who really gives a shit what they burn in Europe. Fuck you you’re stupid.
People who like the McRib: Show me where on an animal, ANY ANIMAL the McRib comes from and I will admit that it is a food but I will never admit it fucking tastes good. The McRib is just another ploy by McDonald’s to get your fat ass back through the door just like the Monopoly games and the Shamrock shake. Also I hate you if you think the Shamrock Shake is mint flavored.
People who refer to things as “spiritual”: Shut up hippie.
I really hate stoner chicks: The only thing worse than a dirty fucking hippie that smells bad and won’t shut up is a dirty fucking hippie that smells bad and won’t shut up chick.Usually you can still smell their vag stink over the incense and hemp perfume.
I can’t stand guys who are in to chick fronted metal bands: You’re lame and no douche bag, Amy Lee, Lacey Mosley and the chicks from Kittie will never do you. The music isn’t good, the lyrics are crap and they are all just crazy bitches like the ones you’ll meet at a skank bar that just so happen to hold a microphone.
I hate chicks who claim to be into metal and never shut up about shitty underground bands no one has ever heard of: Listen fat girl, you’ll never ever be Amy Lee, Lacey Mosley or the chicks from Kittie, if anything you’ll be more like a band formed by Carnie Wilson and Ann Wilson. (You know the fat chicks from Wilson Phillips and Heart respectively)
Any dyke who uses the song “Gunpowder and Lead” as a ringtone: Here’s the thing, I hate country enough to begin with but I hate people that have songs as ringtones and don’t change them for years at a time so that every time their phone rings near me it forces me to listen to a little snippet of a song I never wanted to hear in the first place over and over again until you answer your god damned phone. What makes it even worse is that you know damn well that these nasty fucking hussies think that their life is represented by the chick singing the song. Listen up, as much as it pains me to say it, Miranda Lambert is a smoking fucking hottie, you on the other hand are not. Shut up, turn off your phone and go Gunpowder and Lead your fucking head off.
Fuck all people who drive hybrid cars: You people are even worse than the diesel idiots. A hybrid car costs on average about 9 grand more than a normal vehicle, on average it takes 9 to 13 years to recoup that extra cost and the worst part is in most cases your precious electric motor does not kick in unless you drive under 23 miles per hour. Ask yourself something, unless you live in a major urban area when was the last time you EVER drove under 23 miles per hour to get somewhere. If you do live in a major urban area…TAKE MASS TRANSIT stupid ass.
Soulja Boy must die: That is pretty much it for that one.
I hate people who bitch about Apple: I won’t lie, I am writing this on my brand new bad ass Dell, but I also love my Mac. Apple builds a hell of a product. What product you ask? EVERY PRODUCT THEY FUCKING BUILD. Just because you have your head up your ass and keep rooting for DOS to make a come back doesn’t mean anyone wants to hear your opinion. Fuck man even Bill Gates hates you. He told me that when he called me on his I-Phone.
Fuck raisin cookies: Lousy no good chocolate chip impersonators.
Coldplay fans MUST be destroyed: I could care less about the band ethier way, their worthless enough that they will fade out soon enough, but god damn their fans are moore annoying than Phish and Radiohead fans combined. Also…
I HATE PHISH AND RADIOHEAD!