Wikipedophile: Cimba

Cimba

cimbadrums

Justin “Little Boots” Cimba (born April 4th, 1959 in Dunlo, PA Died (September 10th, 2009 in Port Huron MI Age:50)), better known as Cimba, is a Hard rock and Heavy Metal drummer for the rock band SNYDER.

Cimba was a young man of only six when his family killed by explosion when drum virtuoso father blew up the house trying a daring drumstick trick where the sticks are replaced by lit dynamite, a trick he learned from Chinese drummers when on tour in Bangkok. Justin however has perfected this trick (that took his family’s lives) and accomplished it successfully on 4 occasions at the Clearfield County Fair.

Taken in and raised by 2 grown men, Cimba was the original inspiration for the hit TV show “My 2 Dads” but was replaced in cast as well as in theory when studio execs realized a female child would maybe divert from thoughts of rampant anal sex and pedophilia by the 2 fathers. The idea for the show would be shelved for over a decade. Much speculation has been put into Cimba’s notorious sexual preference and his time spent with his 2 “fathers”. He was however briefly in the custody of Paul Reiser, but went their separate ways due to undisclosed reasons.

Cimba took to the streets after the disappointment following the “My 2 Dads” casting and TV sitcom fallout, and spent his small fortune of the story-rights on tattoos of bands he liked for 8 minutes and never listened to again. He found a lot of work as a young teenager in the male brothels of Johnstown’s Kernville district, and eventually met Ralphioso, a Brazilian model who took Cimba from the streets to the hot male brothels of Los Angeles. It was there that he was able to really hone his signature drumstick technique by engaging in a lot of “skiing” acts with many men at once.

With the money he made there, he bought his first real drum set and started a 1-man teenage erotic drum revue. It had limited success due to his unappealing periscope-shaped manhood. Despite incorporating a Naval submarine theme into his drum act to showcase his Dunlo drumstick, the only musicians interested in his services were the Miller Twins.

After touring off and on with the Miller Twins, Cimba met Dustin King and the two immediately hit it off, sharing a deep affliction for hard cider and Castlevania video games.

When Dut and Turbo decided to form the band SNYDER, Cimba was the only choice for a drummer. In 1991 during the infamous “Casino Disaster” Cimba and Dut ended their friendship after Dut called Cimba a, “lousy queen who is more interested in how many cocks he can fit in his body instead of how many beats he can fit in a solo. How is Cimba like a drummer with bad timing? A beat off.”

After Cimba was out of SNYDER completely in 1996 he launched a solo country and western career with the album, “Coming Out To The Country” and the follow up album, “Ride Hard All Night”.

When SNYDER finally regrouped in 2002 Dut and Cimba “hugged it out” and put their differences aside.

Personal Life

Cimba currently resides in St. Michael’s “Firman’s District” where he has a reputation for sliding down the pole.

One response to “Wikipedophile: Cimba

  1. Best line in this article. “How is Cimba like a drummer with bad timing? A beat off.”

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