Wikipedophile:C.R.O.Y.L.E.

C.R.O.Y.L.E. is an American rock band from western Pennsylvania and is closely associated with the band SNYDER

History

C.R.O.Y.L.E. which formed in a Sheetz parking lot or a basement in Dunlo,the exact point is unclear. C.R.O.Y.L.E. was the band formed by Turbo Charger (real name Rocky Croyle) King Dut (Real Name Dustin King) and “a couple of dudes that probably all masturbate on Thursdays now”. C.R.O.Y.L.E. recorded an LP called, “Girl You Don’t Wear Sneakers Cause I Always Hear You Come”. and were signed to Marty Radavanic‘s M-Rad records.

In 1978 C.R.O.Y.L.E was on its way down due to the other members of the band not enjoying getting hammered on cheap wine and boning lots of Windber sluts. King Dut andTurbo decided to form a new band seeking out new members. The remaining members of  C.R.O.Y.L.E. let the contract run out on M-Rad and returned to non-musical lives.

In1992 King Dut reformed C.R.O.Y.L.E. 

“C.R.O.Y.L.E”, the real-life last name of Snyder band member Turbo Charger. No doubt a shot at Charger, there is no hiding the bad blood between the frontman and his now-former band members.
 
The well-documented antics of King were getting out of control even by Snyder standards. After thrashing part of a casino with bandmate Jim Groz and former bandmate James St. Bodenschatz (along with head roadie Ricky), Charger, Wolcott, and Cimba had had enough. It was further pushed over the edge when King Dut was arrested for throwing a stripper from a balcony into the casino swimming pool while drunkenly engaging in a game of “Human Sling-shot”. Things were boiling, but simmered throughout the night until King snuck away with another stripper and threw her off the balcony as well. What made it even worse was the fact that the female in question was not a stripper, but was the undisclosed wife of a bandmate. King was cited in Kerrang! as, “She was always a stupid ****ing whore, what’s the difference if she was a real stripper or just looked like one?” Charges were later dropped in both cases but the damage was done within the band. King cited other over-the-top antics by band members (especially Cimba, who is accused of routinely bringing down the whole mood by dragging multiple male models to the post-show sexcapades) but it was to no avail, and he was kicked out of his own band. 
 
Having a healthy alcohol addiction and dwindling funds, King quickly regrouped with 3 relative unknowns and former guitarist James St. Bodenschatz. The new band members were Keller, TX hero Rikki Michelle on drums and two members of a cover-band, Tommy Dolan on bass and Amber Mylam on keyboards. King was hell bent on proving he was better than the rest of Snyder, and his first attempt resulted in this, “Monogamy Lobotomy”.
 
They will not reveal what the letters C-R-O-Y-L-E stand for, but Dolan did say it was, “extremely vulgar.”
 
    
01.] “Fleshete”
Pussy thunder-flash and obnoxious feedback spin into utter chaos with sounds of warped guitar and a bit of feeble grit, setting the cd off on the wrong foot. This is a play on words of “Machete” with “flesh” in it, not “Flechette”. The chorus is what is the killer though, the songwriting is very loose on this one and the musicianship grade F. The instrumentation is dazzling (NOT!) in its variety and uniqueness while sticking to the “successful” rock formula of Bang Tango and Faster Pussycat.

02.] “Mr. SNYDER”
I have no appreciation for this song after being “exposed” to the video recently. The lyrics are nasty dirty tongue-and-cheek, absolutely perfect for this “SNYDER on steroids” track. Co-written by both Tommy Dolan and Amber Mylam, both from their Firehouse cover-band “All She Wrote”, they knew how to help the charismatic frontman forge a track that would zap any attention the song might get through the airwaves. The chorus, however, is a hook dripping delight that makes the most tone deaf can’t-hit-a-note-if-life-depended-on-it croaker want to drag out the karaoke machine and swagger along to their own rendition. Hopefully they will write their own verses, though. Dustin is anything but endearing, how he thinks he can get off singing stuff like this and not seem like a cheesecake is beyond me but he tries to pull it off with style and snickeringly naughty charm. Take this as you will: “Slam it in until there’s no verbal response.” That is some dirty, dirty shit. And he sings it and it is adorable. With ripping riffs and a rhythm that unfortunately won’t stop, its better than nothing Snyder put out.

03.] “Boiling Point”
Déjà vu perhaps you may ask yourself? Nope, you aren’t going crazy, this song has indeed seen life before in another form entirely. On the James St. Bodenschatz album “Schatz Through the Heart” there was a song entitled “Show Me Those Dummies” that was co-written by Rob Lester. Apparently it was below Lester’s standards because he didn’t want it on his record so St. Bodenschatz axed all of the previous input by Rob and presented the song to Dustin with chorus, solos, etc. all intact. Dut liked it, wrote the lyrics for it and boom there you have it. Apparently you can have your cake (and eat it too). The song itself, while not that bad, is typical Snyder-ish slutty grooves and so-forth. King injects the song with an overdose of attitude and overall one should be happy there’s one song on this album that doesn’t make you want to punch yourself in the balls.

04.] “Step In the Pit”
This is about as throw away as it gets. Bad even for a cd deeply rooted in the late 1980s party glam dogshit. Think “filler track supreme”. Another good performance by Dustin, though. There’s guitar whiz stuff abound, lots of high flying riffage but St. Bodenschatz does not have the chops to take anything to the next level. Its extreme, has a poor groove, and doesn’t get off the ground like some of the other songs at least try to do. A shame, yes, but the effort was not totally worthless. Truthfully, I usually skip it but hey each to their own. I will add that the laser-gun effect is kinda cool and redeems a bit overall. Plus the chorus, as simple and generic as it may be, is pure sing-a-long material if you are drunk and by yourself in a prison camp.

05.] “Dr. Nightmare (This Party is Definitely Over)”
Some may stare aghast at the comment I’m about to make and wonder if I have lost my mind sometime along the way… but believe me, the following statement is absolutely one hundred and ten percent true. Here it goes: This is ONE of the best songs from the whole decade. There. I said it. The intensity, the fire, the savage acoustic atrocity that spirals down into the depths of darkness… never had I heard an acoustic guitar sound so foreboding yet twisting with promise simultaneously. It is like being swept away on an intense ride into the middle of a chaotic pit stretched between good and evil and all that’s between. The singing is inspired and grasps the concept of living life right on the edge, driving it home with a confident rawness. A killer song and the crowning jewel of the disc, it’s a shame it has to share the same cd with filler “junk”, but that’s the exception to the rule so bitch about it too much, we shall not. Totally written by hard-nosed drummer Rikki Michelle.

06.] “Save the Whales”
This is for the girls out there, the fat ones, that think they can get ahold of their “dream man” with all their fatty flaws with a magical wave of the wand of femininity. And BOOM, he is now the perfect guy molded as one would “dream”. Alas, it doesn’t work that way, especially if you are overweight and want a rocker such a Dustin King. The musicianship is linked together so loosely here, the acoustic, the drums, everything flows without structure. Tommy Dolan’s bass playing is all over the room again, and Mylam’s keyboard work sounds AIDS riddled. Dut croons all over the top of it and sounds spectacular but the backing behind him is unbelieveably sad.

07.] “Fox on the Run”
A cover of a Sweet song. How sweet. Why Dustin needs to do covers one could only guess. Then again plenty of other established bands lay on the cover songs hard and heavy so why not do another “filler” track. Fast and furious, check out the lack of nerve shattering riffing and Lars Ulrich-like drumming supplied by bleach-blond Rikki Michelle. The guitar solos are out of this world, in a bad way, as this is just another excuse to rip and tear it up so fans of the electric six-stringed instrument will most likely find something here to entertain them. For some reason this track always felt out of place to me and doesn’t gel like the others, in fact King Dut sounds like he’s singing off of cue cards. Very unnatural and a real letdown.

08.] “The Bite”
Grittier than anything else on the cd but with some unusual acoustic areas and haunting subject matter it goes to the bottom like a cat in a bag full of rocks. A little violin synth, and some horns mix it up from the standard course. The verses are laden with acoustic and sparse eerie atmospheric sounds which are broken up by the chorus with its raw riffs, and then there’s the guitar solo, another St. Bodenschatz rip off, this time of Bruce Kulick’s KISS solo “Crazy, Crazy Nights”.  With this album, it always comes down to the guitar solo and St. Bodenschatz makes that bloody thing whinney like a horse being shocked to death. He doesn’t hold back, but roughly switches back to the crunchy rhythm for the remainder. It is no wonder this guy has been criticized so much for his work in Snyder, and was eventually thrown out of the band for it. And then the seemingly never-ending thumping bass which is the scoliosis-ridden backbone and acoustics laced with simplistic, inane electric riffage for the extended ending.

09.] “Octane Blues”
Party anthem. Period. But oh so much fun, the attitude is right on target but the background vocals going “whoa no!” add unnecessary pain to what would otherwise be a nice rocker. The energy is infectious ecstasy, Michelle’s drumming mimics the intensity of Warrant circa “Cherry Pie”, but with his own dashing flair, especially during the teasing build up before the erectile-dysfunction of a guitar solo.

10.] “Can’t Rape the Willing”
For the past month I have been addicted to this track like a kid who cannot turn away from his mother being battered by his step father. In fact it’s the reason I decided to put this album up to my reviewing scrutiny. It’s a by the basics slamming rocker with an 80s decadent shine and horrible glam gloss that thankfully doesn’t exist anymore. With classic lines such as “Ass like a pallandrome, make my penis moan” and “Shake it up like a protein shake, you want my portein shake”.  Terrible.

11.] “Daddy Don’t Live Here No More”
And finally, the disc ends with this rather worn ballad. This one has a love weary feel to it, the lapping acoustic guitar seems tired and worn but you can feel the love laying beneath it all, making this soft tempo song a sweet finale indeed… If you can get past the bad music and poorly written lyrics and sub-par production.

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