It has been over 2 years since I wrote what has become the Hey Stupid classic, Holiday Hell. Over the past 2 years, my life has seen a lot of changes, some good, some great, some really really bad and I figured it was time to update everyone.
When I wrote the first HH piece, I had just moved to South Dakota and married my wife. We were just starting out in a new city in a new state away from our families and we were struggling to grip the reality that we were on our own and it was us against the world.
Last year we experienced the joy of having our first baby, moving into our own house and I landed the best, most enjoyable, most rewarding job I have ever had. All of 2008 was pretty damn cool and we were really looking forward to doing something amazing for this Christmas. Then November happened.
With the economy in the toilet no one was buying what I was selling and my family essentially ran out of money. If it were just the two of us we probably could have gotten by, but we have a little girl now and another on the way so we had to make a very difficult decision and move back east to Pennsylvania. The last two months here have been pretty much a constant living hell for me. Or so I thought. In reality I guess it hasn’t been that bad.
Yes my entire family is living at my mom’s house and I am thoroughly convinced she has completely lost her mind. Yes, it is true that my pregnant wife is going to pop at any moment and give birth. Sure I am barely making enough to cover the few bills I have living at my mom’s house and it makes me feel like shit. Yes, I do miss my job, the friends I made and the stand up comedy act I used to be part of and I miss having my own life, but who gives a shit about any of that any way.
Christmas has never been my favorite time of year. In fact almost every year on Christmas I fall into a deep depression and feel like total shit. Strangely enough every year but this year. I don’t know if it is because I had already reached the lowest point in my life and have to start over or if it is because the one thing that I took away from my last job and my old boss who I looked at more like a mentor and father figure than a boss, which is if you aren’t dead then you must be alive and god damn it quit your bitching. What ever the case I can’t seem to get upset anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, I can get angry and want to punch a fake Santa in the face. I can get angry and want to step on the school of an elderly woman in front of me in a store who can’t make up her mind about whether to get her 10 year old kid an XBox 360 game or a marshmallow gun, but I can’t get depressed.
With all the bat shit craziness the holidays bring out of my family, the 42 times of going to church in a 3 day span, the (literally no lie) 84 people crammed into one house for 6 hours, all the decorating, all the wrapping, hanging, unwrapping, shopping, visiting, preparing, eating and no sleep that make up the holidays I am fine with all of it. I was just happy to watch my little girl tear apart wrapping paper and be so surprised by all of the gifts. I was happy to see my wife be happy to see her family.
Does all this mean I have the true spirit of Christmas? I doubt it. I think it means I have nothing left to lose and al I have to do now is live, get drunk (which I have been doing A LOT of) and have fun. What’s the worst that could hapen? Oh I could die? Probably wouldn’t be so bad.
Maybe this wasn’t what you were expecting out of me but I don’t give a shit.