5 more fuckin’ inches

The man who spawned DB

The man who spawned DB

Goddamn phone rings at 4 o’clock in the morning. I wake up first because Susie sleeps through goddamn anything. I hit her at least 10 times before she wakes up. “Get the goddamn phone, are you deaf?” She finally reaches over and answers it. Fuckin’ Shy and Von are on their way up to Gallitzin to clear the tracks and they need someone else to go up. Well, I live on 219, where they’ll be driving through, and I have a truck, so guess who gets stuck fuckin’ goin’ up there again? I crawl out of bed and make a sandwich and turn on the Weather Channel to see that we are getting even more fuckin’ snow. I haven’t even looked outside yet. So I get up off the chair and grab a Pepsi and walk over to the front door. Hoolie Christ another goddamn blizzard. So I swear and stomp around and then go down the fuckin’ cellar to get ready. I hear something outside, and then I realize it’s Beaver next door shoveling his sidewalk so his goddamn kids can get to the bus in case there’s no snow delay. So I put on the big goddamn coat I just ordered from my Marlboro points and I head out the garage door. “HEY!” I yell about 20 times before he hears me. So then we both walk up to my shed and get the snowblower and I help him clear the driveways. Then we start talkin’ about his kid Jake goin’ out for the baseball team, and they lost a couple guys but they’ll be pretty good. So Beaver leaves for work and by then Shy and Von show up and we drive up to Gallitzin, slidin’ all over the fuckin’ road. I make them stop at Sheetz in Cresson and we all eat hotdogs before we head up. So we get up there and fuckin’ Cutzie and Bob White already cleared the snow.

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