Let’s Go Bucs

The man who spawned DB

The man who spawned DB

So baseball season started up again and me and Francy and Larry Celmer were down Bob’s Crick fishin’ last Saturday. I got called into work in the goddamn morning, but I got off and me and them went down there and there ain’t a goddamn fish all the way from Onalinda to Pavia. Anyways Larry starts talkin’ about this church trip and I’m like Larry what the fuck are you talkin’ about. “Goin’ to see the Pirates,” he says. I say “when?” and he says “next Sunday”. Well I didn’t know anything about it, so the next day I’m in church and Louie McCloskey runs over and asks me about the church trip. I say, “Hoolie geez, Louie, gimme a second.” Then me and Paul are talkin’ and he told me about how he was out at Windber Rec playin’ basketball and turned his ankle real bad. I asked him if he went to the doctor but he didn’t, I guess he knows more than a doctor does we’ll see how funny it is when he can’t walk for the rest of his fuckin’ life. So the trip was next Sunday and I told them I guess I’ll fuckin’ go but only if there’s beer on the bus and I better be able to have a cigarette. Our priest starts laughin’ like it’s a fuckin’ joke. He’s gonna pull that bus over any goddamn time I tell him to pull that bus over, and I wanna see him try to stop me from smokin’ a fuckin’ cigarette. See, Paul and Joey McCloskey know I’ll really stop that bus if I want to. Then Anthony and me are talkin’ about Ben Madeira not gettin’ a scholarship and I can’t fuckin’ understand that. The kid is big, he’s strong, I guess he has okay speed, what’s the problem? I’ll tell you what the problem is. He’s from Forest Hills and all these goddamn schools around here are badmouthing us because we’re so much goddamn better than they are. You take a look at it. Tommy Chunta, Dan Wolfhope, Mike Leventry, Louie Cornell, all of them. Blackballed. So then I went to work all week and we had all kinds of problems with the one machine so I told Cutzie to hurry up and move it out of the goddamn way. So I go to church and then we’re sittin’ on the bus and who is there? Goddamn Shawn Cornell, hoolie christ I haven’t seen that kid in fuckin’ years. Then we went to the Pirates game and I drank all the beer on the bus.

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