I have a better idea.

Just saw an article on Yahoo about an Afghan winning French residency by winning some boxing matches. Granted, I didn’t actually click the link, but when your brain is as developed as mine is, you don’t even need to. I just close my eyes and FEEL the article.

So now I have a good idea!

Special Note: Anyone (Frankie and Leeanna) who is going to be offended by the following paragraph, let me say right away that I already know and agree with you when you knee-jerk that Whitey invading Indian land is no different than Mexi invading Whitey land. We’re gonna just have to deal with it, and I’m okay with anyone coming here as long as they do their goddamn work. After having many jobs dealing with people of all races and colors, I do not discriminate against anyone who shows up and does their fucking work. I dont even care if they speak a different language. But I do however have a problem with lazy people, especially in the workplace. Come on over the border or over the ocean and let’s do some work.

That being said, many think we should keep Cesar and Juanita in Mexico, and stop letting them come over here and “take our jobs” and “lower our standard of living” and “crawl out of the closet when I’m taking a dump and eat all the hotdogs I have in my freezer before sneaking out the window again”. For years I was in favor of adopting some sort of immigration policy where you had to have some sort of trade to get a Greencard, like welding or emergency elevator dispatch. But now I have changed my opinion.

I think we should make Mexicans fight Asians.

There, I said it. Now, we’ve already cleared all the living space in Irving and Arlington. Since we have outlawed cockfighting everywhere except in Cimba’s shower (where a different cockfighting is participated altogether) why not force Pico and Hashimoto to prove how badly they want to be Americans. Since we are so high on our “fightin’ spirit” and our will to overcome all adversity, we should make immigrants prove they can “hang” with us honkies and nigguz.

Think about it. How much different would your opinion be of the Mexicans who are raking the grass at your apartment complex? You’d see them, they’d see you, and you would nod to eachother. You know why? Because that dude proved himself. And you would say, “Hey, DB, you see that dude Jose over there by that tree? That dude split a little Asian girl’s head open last night in Shane’s living room. He’s an American now. He’s one of us.

Or:

“Hey, Clark, you should have seen the dumptruck that wrecked on 114 today.

“Oh yeah? Why? I must have missed it, I was reading PSU updates and listening to bad indie music all day.

“Me and Nasty were taking Ryder to New Fine Arts and we saw about 50 dead Asians and Mexicans spread all over the highway. They were the ones that lost the battles last night at Texas Stadium.

“Oh, yeah, I heard about that, what happens to the bodies?”
“Ah buddy, I dunno, but I heard the foodbank had to stop accepting donations b/c the freezers are full.

Ya know what, why stop there? Let’s close the borders completely for one full year. Then, since the economy is so bad and it won’t matter if we skip some days of work, let’s have regional tournaments amongst Cracker and Homie and we’ll accept the final 25% of the winners in those contests. Losers are already dead, so all we have to do is get rid of the bodies. I think Germany may have already set a precedence in this area, but I will have to consult Wikipedia for verification. That frees up millions of jobs, eliminates the population problem for a long time, and then we let Juan take on Hirohito to see who gets to drive me to work in a rickshaw.

Let me know what you think, I already sent this as a handwritten letter to Obama.

SEE ALSO…MY NUTSACK!

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