The Neutron Dance: A Critical Review

I was just listening to the radio and for no good reason what so ever the Pointer Sisters’ song “The Neutron Dance.” Now don’t get me wrong kids, I liked Beverly Hills Cop 2 as much as the next guy but something has always bothered me about this song. That doesn’t mean I don’t like it, a band I was in used to cover it, it is fun to listen to and that beat makes me want to shake it til I break it. The thing is I don’t know what the hell its about. There seemed to be a whole slew of songs like that in the 80’s and this one is no different, so join me won’t you on my quest to explore what the hell this hot mess is.

pointer_sisters

I don’t want to take it anymore
I’ll just stay here locked behind the door

Ok, that lyric seems straight forward enough. She is afraid of the outside world, perhaps suffering from Agoraphobia and wants to stay locked in her house.

Just no time to stop and get away
‘Cause I work so hard to make it everyday

Well wait a minute, how is she going to get away locked inside her house? Maybe she’ll just buy up a bunch of PCP and ride on angels wings to a new locality.


Whoo oooh
Whoo oooh

There’s no money falling from the sky
‘Cause a man took my heart and robbed me blind

Damn sister, you got robbed? Maybe you shouldn’t be so concerned with going on a stay-cation. I mean it really sucks that you got robbed but is getting high really the answer?


Someone stole my brand new Chevrolet
And the rent is due, I got no place to stay

So wait wait wait, you owned a brand new car and now its gone and you really can’t figure out who took it? I’m no detective but I would think it is probably the guy that robbed you blind. The other thing is if your car is missing so you have no place to stay doesn’t that mean you lived in your fucking car?

Whoo oooh
Whoo oooh

And it’s hard to say
Just how some things never change
And it’s hard to find
Any strength to draw the line
I’m just burning doin’ the neutron dance
I’m just burning doin’ the neutron dance

This is where I get lost. We start off strong, I mean it is hard to say how some things never change, the brutal reality is it is tough to change the world around you. I can also understand how sometimes it is hard to “draw the line” to have a launching point for that change. My question is, what in the hell does any of that have to do with any kind of dancing let alone Neutron Dancing…what ever that is.The other thing is I may not know what the Neutron dance is but something tells me that if you’re “burning” you probably aren’t doing it right…or you have chlamydia.

Nothing says "Time for a change" like the Neutron Dance"

Nothing says "Time for a change" like the Neutron Dance"


Industry don’t pay a price that’s fair
All the common people breathing filthy air

Wait wait wait a minute. Is this an 80’s dance tune or the Communist Manifesto? Industry is bad comrade, it pollutes the air and abuses the workers…let’s dance.

Dasvidanya I am Neutron Dancing Comrade

Dasvidanya I am Neutron Dancing Comrade


Roof caved in on all the simple dreams
And to get ahead your heart starts pumping schemes

My roof has caved in, I’ve been there. It was the middle of winter a coupe of years ago, I was sitting in the living room and the roof fell in leaving a gaping hole in the ceiling and snow on our coffee table. We eventually moved out and got a new place…if only we had just had the good sense to dance!


Whoo oooh
Whoo oooh

And it’s hard to say
Just how some things never change
And it’s hard to find
Any strength to draw the line
I’m just burning doin’ the neutron dance
I’m just burning doin’ the neutron dance

Chlamydia


Whoo oooh
Whoo oooh
I’m on fire
I’m on fire

Should have been dancing!!!

Should have been dancing!!!


I know there’s a pot of gold for me
All I got to do is just believe

In the end, I am broke, I have been robbed I have Agoraphobia and a nasty std plus my car was stolen and I am homeless, but its cool I will just do the Neutron Dance. Yeah!


I’m so happy doin’ the neutron dance
And I’m just burning doin’ the neutron dance
I’m so happy doin’ the neutron dance
I’m just burning doin’ the neutron dance

3 responses to “The Neutron Dance: A Critical Review

  1. AWESOME!

  2. That IS what the song’s about, and it makes perfect sense! Everything in her life is awful, but this dance gives her energy and optimism! Things will turn out ok in the end! Just dance and enjoy life!!!

  3. stupid song

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