Blu-Ray: I am never going to care about Blu-Ray, so fuck off. I really don’t give a flying horse shit about it. Sure the picture quality is good and the audio is decent, but honestly not enough for me to go out and re-purchase, well lets face it, re-pirate my entire 973 disc collection of movies. No, no thank you. Especially not when Blu-Ray players still cost so damn much. I mean look, it isn’t like this is a debate between VHS and DVD, its a disc and a slightly more expensive disc. Besides, in another 5 years 57 new technologies will have come and gone.
World of Warcraft: I have never played this game and I really never eeeeeeee-heeeeeeeeee-ver plan on it. To be honest Blizzard kind of pissed me off with this shit. I still remember purchasing Warcraft: Orcs & Humans, the day it came out. I read through the kick ass manual, I waited patiently for my computer to boot up and then I played the shit out of that shit. My cousin and I virtually pioneered the idea of using farmhouses as defensive structures. The game was the shit. Next, Warcraft 2. I devoured that shit. I owned every expansion, every bit of related shit I could get my hands on, all of it. When I should have been out trying to get laid, I was playing on Battle.Net. I waited patiently for Lord of The Clans to come out, constantly talking to all the other gamers in various MIRC chat rooms about how sweet and bad ass it was going to be. I cried when it didn’t come out, but then felt my heart swell when Warcraft 3 and it’s expansions came out. I bought the collector’s edition with all of the concept art books and the dvd’s. Then, it happens, Blizzard announces World of Warcraft. I read about it everyday when I was in college while it was in development, it was all I could think about. Then it released and I was devastated. First off A bunch of the fucking lame ass Everquest fuck-tards were trying to buy up all of the copies of it and 2, ou had to pay extra to play it online. Fuck that shit and all the fucking nerds and dipshits that play it.
PS3: Really Sony? Go fuck yourself with a big iron stick. I stuck by you when you offered the Playstation with it’s retarded graphics when all of my friends were playing Dreamcast. When everyone was bithing about the PS2 being sub-par, having too many programing issues, never working properly and catching on fire, I came to your defence. Never mind the fact that it was normally while I was ripping my PS2 apart to re-calibrate the laser since it would randomly stop reading games from time to time. Then ou release this over-priced, under gamed ridiculous piece of shit you call the PS3. Fuck man, I wouldn’t take one if someone offered me one for free. I know 2 people that own them and neither one of them have played them since the week they bought them.
Reality TV: Just stop with this. I mean it. I don’t care about d-list celebrities, I don’t give a shit about washed up rock stars still trying to prove they aren’t gay, I don’t care about fags who want to sing, ass holes on an island or any of that shit. All reality t.v. does is get in the way of my normal t.v. watching.
Fox News: Fuck every last one of these morons, and just a word of warning, if you yourself actually watch or enjoy this shit I will come to your house and kill you, have sex with your wife and then set your kids, pets and plants on fire.
Twitter: No one will ever give a shit about what you are doing at any particular moment ever so lay off. Everytime I hear someone say the word “Tweet” I want to rip out their heart, Moola Ram style then skull fuck them in front of their family.
Celebrity Gossip: Anyone who breathes or writes a word of this shit for a living needs to be impaled on my front lawn. Any one who talks about, or reads this shit needs to be raped in the ass, mouth, vag, nose, ears, and any other whole they have by the biggest, horniest, craziest prisoners in the U.S. then as they are laying their, violated the need to be shot up with a big syringe full of AIDS. The needle should be rusy too so that maybe the will also get lock jaw.
Animal Rights: Animals have the right to taste good and make a decent jacket or a pair of shoes. Beyond that they are fucking animals. That’s it. If you want to worship them, talk to them, protect them, mate with them, whatever, that’s up to you, but the minute you talk to me about it I will fucking cunt punch you. “What if I’m a dude” you ask? If you think animals have any right you have a cunt so don’t worry I will punch you in it, probably while wearing fur and eating KFC.
Going Green: Shut up. Just shut up. This is just the latest buzz word term everyone is trying to cash in on. Honestly I am not surprised Billy Maze isn’t trying to bring back the Razor Scooter or beter yet the Roller Racer and calling it “The Green Go” or some shit like that. Yes, we are all probably going to die. Yes, global warming is very real, but I don’t give a shit. If we all die out we deserve it. Hell haven’t 98% of all species to have ever lived on Earth already gone extinct? I mean our turn is coming so why bother paying some marketing idiot your hard earned dollar to buy something “Green” or “Eco-Friendly”. Fuck Eco-Friendly, give me Edgar Friendly “I’m the enemy, ’cause I like to think; I like to read. I’m into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I’m the kind of guy likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder – “Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?” I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green Jell-o all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal?”
Twilight: Didin’t anyone murder this undereducated Mormon whore yet? Why do I have to keep hearing faggy kids who shop at hot topic and creepy old women who can’t laid talk about these douche bag, anus licking vampire fags? Fuck you.
Anime: Slowly but surely , THIS problem seems to be going away but I do have a shot gun to finish it off just in case.
Indy Music: I don’ t care what stupid, lame-ass obscure band you just read about in some “zine”. I don’t give a fuck what “sweet new merch” you just bought and I swear to Christ that if you even think about talking to me about “Special Limited Release Colored vinyl” I will shove your dad’s head up your ass.
MTV: No. fuck you.
Scientology: See above.
I am sure I will think up some other stuff, but right now I am starting to not give a shit about writing this.