Tease a vegan, punch a hippy and shit on everything Part 2

About 4 years ago on my old site I wrote the prequel to this piece. When I brought it over to Hey Stupid, it quickly became one of the most read, most commented on bits on the entire site.

The reason for this is because there were multiple factors that went into writing this bit. Number 1, I am a drunk and the more I drink the angrier I get. I wrote this selection when I was drunk as hell so therefore it is an extremely inflammatory piece of literature.  Second, I hate all vegetarians. I hate vegans. I hate PETA and hippies and ass holes who hide behind some cause just to be part of something.

I want this to be clearly understood, this is in no way an apology for me original piece, I still stand behind the spirit of it. That being said, I realize that I went off the deepend and said a lot of shit that may not have made sense…booze can do that.

So now, I am a little older a little wiser and just a hair more sober, so I decided to write a companion piece to hammer my thoughts home.

I eat meat. I eat veggies. I eat pussy and chocolate and cookies. If it tastes good I will eat it. Just because you want to pretend that an animal is for anything other than eating, owning or wearing isn’t going to change that for me.

One of my friends’ douche licking girlfriends sent me a bunch of videos of chickens being beaten up and cows being pushed around with a bull dozer in south america. So what? 90% of all the meat I eat I can tell you what farm it came from and I know for a fact that it hasn’t been shot full of chemicals or punched in the face. Why should I give a shit about some stuff I am not going to eat that I have nothing to do with?

It isn’t like they are setting orphans on fire or pissing on sick kids. Its a bunch of fucking animals. I don’t give a shit. Not now, not never. Shut up.

I love dogs, I have owned doags all my life and I think they make great companions but apparently a dog yanked a baby out of a crib and was tossing it around in the yard. You can bet your ass if my dog ever did that to my baby I would put it down and probably eat it.

In short stop talking to me about soy and drugged up beef, organic veggies and cow farts. If you choose to think I care and try to talk to me about it I will punch you in your frail fucking face.

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