Strange Tales of the Internet- The Best of Craigslist

300 Stuffed Penguins Free to Good Home

What I’m offering here is about 300 stuffed penguins of various shapes, sizes, and species (predominately Emperor, though–like the kind in March of the Penguins) to a deserving child.

I’m going through a pretty weird time in my life right now–having just gone through a break-up and graduated college and temporarily living in my parents’ house before I move out for good in in the fall, though I remain unemployed because my philosophy degree is at *such* a premium–and sifting through my room (which has become a strange amalgam of my adolescence and burgeoning adulthood), it’s been brought to my attention that I probably won’t “catch a man” or have anyone believe I’m about to turn 23 with 300 penguins and a bunch of purple furniture around, that looking at my current room one might think some sort of 13-year-old with developmental issues is living here. I loved penguins as a child–long before they were trendy and had their own series of CGI movies or the godly voice of Morgan Freeman was involved–and collected them, often putting on penguin weddings and penguin ballet recitals where I made costumes for individual penguins, all of whom had names that I kept track of on my penguin censuses. I could recite all 16 species of penguin in alphabetical order…

…so, yes, I feel justified in saying I want a deserving child. A child that will really, well, love the penguins, and cherish his/her youth with them as it slowly slips away… Or, alternatively, some adult who has a great use for them, like if you are making the next big penguin movie (or play?). Or, if you are opening some new theme restaurant in town and need my penguins for your decor. As long as I’m auctioning off my childhood to the highest bidder, I reserve the right to be a little choosy.

E-mail with your intentions and we will work something out.

I don’t know where to begin on this one. Really. I mean I really hope this is a fake. It has to be right? I mean for chirst’s sake they would take up too much room. And more importantly Why in the HELL would any one have or even get 300 stuffed penguins to begin with?

Daughter getting morning after pill at RiteAid – m4w

Looking for the daughter half that was in Rite Aid with her mother (I assume) getting the morning after pill today in Finksburg. You had an amazing body and I would love to be the next reason you have to get another dose of said pill! Hit me up if you’re looking for another go round.

 Total class right there.

Free, Free, Free!!!!

Ever want a good quality stump you can rest your feet on, relax on, or even eat on? Then we have the best item FOR FREE just for you. Today only come and get your free, newly removed stump. You even get the dirt attached for NO CHARGE. Just cant get any better than this. Please let everyone have a chance for this, serious inquries only. Have a great day, have fun and keep shopping on Craigslist!

what the hell are you gonna do with it?
what the hell are you gonna do with it?

Because who doesn’t need a big ass stump for something?

I need your eyesore,please help

 

I had a nice hedge on my property line, but my neighbor said it was a ratty eyesore and killed it. I would like a bus? a train car? huge peice of rusted heavy equiptment?? This is not a joke If you have something huge and ugly you need to be rid of perhaps we can help eachother out! I would prefer something tall and ominous but will consider any old peice of shit. Wreckage from a airplane would also fit the bill. Also, if part of it squeekes in the wind or is highly reflective in the sun that would be a plus

I like the way this person thinks. If it were me I would want an old nasty ass  porta-potty with the door sort of off the hinges.

You Want the Table? You Can’t Handle the Table!

It’s big, heavy, and ugly. You can’t kill it; you can’t even frighten it. It’s 6X3X3 feet tall, with two tiers and three drawers that work. It’s sheet metal and angle iron, welded together with testosterone.

Run a monster truck over it. Tape explosives to it. Launch it a quarter mile with a (big) trebuchet. Play the Anvil Chorus on it with sledgehammers for an hour. It will mock you.

I’m a beaten man. Just get it out of my garage. Bring your friends

I am STILL laughing at this one. Maybe he should give it to the dude who needs an eye sore.

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