Lost In The Attic: The Toys That Time Forgot Part 7

Cowboys of Moo Mesa

moomesaThis was a tie in to the legendary Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I have to admit that I wasn’t very familiar with the comic book that the show that these toys were based on, but as far as I can tell this wasn’t a spin off series as much as it was a group of characters that existed in the same universe as the turtles much like Savage Dragon or Usagi Yojimbo. I have seen a few episodes of the show and it seems pretty cool and the toys do capture the bright color and animation style of the show. The only major downfall of the action figures was that they were bulky and they didn’t do much, they were closer to He Man toys than say G.I. Joe, but overall I still think they did a great job with them.

Cyboars

cyboarsAs far as I can find these action figures were based on comic books. I haven’t been able to find much info on the characters these toys were based on and to be honest I had never even seen one of the guys until recently. It LOOKS as though they came out of the same late 80’s to mid-90’s mindset that everything had to be a mutant as many other toys, but again I know nothing of their background.

I thought these figures were kind of dumb and while I would display a few if I had them, I don’t think I would buy any on purpose.

Demolition Man

demolitionmanI have said it thousands of times before and I will say it again here…STOP MAKING TOYS BASED ON SYLVESTER STALLONE MOVIES!!! The only decent toy line ever made based on one of his flicks was the Rambo line and even those toys were lacking. These toys were pure shit. Pure. Shit. They were cheaply made and snapped easily, they looked nothing like their movie counter-parts and I am pretty sure the heads were recycled from another failed toy line because they didn’t quite seem to fit the bodies.

Dragon Flyz

dragon flyz

I was never really into these guys but my neighbor was when we were growing up so I played with them a lot. As a kid I didn’t like them that much because it seemed like the wings always broke off, as an adult I don’t like them because they look like Anime toys.


Dragonriders of the Styx

dragonriderI want to call these toys gay but I can’t I just can’t. Though the name sounds like it rips of Tommy Shaw and Anne McCaffrey the toys were pretty fuckin great. They were made from good solid plastic that could stand up to all the beatings I dished out as a kid, they were from my favorite toy era and they articulate at all the right places. They are sculpted with good detail and they were painted well, overall you can’t really ask for a better toy they just look kind of weird. I kind of wish these would have caught on a little more.

Duke Nukem

duke-nukem

It’s time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I’m all out of gum. Duke Nukem was the most bad ass, the baddest assed, video game in all of the 90’s. Doom you say? Wolfenstein? Blood, Heretic, HeXen, Strife, Rise of the Triad, Blake Stone, Marathon, Damage Inc, Redneck Rampage, Star Wars: Dark Forces? No. None compare. The only thing that ever came close was Shadow Warrior and that’s only because it was Duke Nukem with an Asian Persuasion.

Duke was so fucking awesome because he just didn’t care. He lifted almost all of his great lines from Evil Dead, he carried the coolest weapons AND he was a poon hound. The Duke was a bad ass. Unfortunately his toys were not.

I was so excited when the DN toys came out because I was a big DN fan and I love action figures. I ran out and I bought up all of them I could get my hands on, I think the only one I didn’t have was “SWAT Team Duke” and I couldn’t wait to open them and play with them. The toys looked amazing, they were made by Resaurus which made my all time favorite line of Street Fighter toys as well as many other awesome looking toys, but the plastic they used was far too brittle. In my opinion the problem with the Duke Nukem line was that it was basically collectibles marketed as action figures.

As a collectible they are gorgeous, as toys they suck.

Exosquad

exosquadAs a kid I was never much into this show, I mean it wasn’t bad, it just didn’t interest me that much, the toys on the other hand really kicked ass. They were made by Playmates, they were well constructed and looked really bad ass. I know a lot of collectors compare the toys to Robotech, but Robotech is for ass holes and douche bags. What ever you do though don’t let your little kids play with these toys as they should have called them, “Choke On It Squad”. Ever part of the figure was tiny, pointy and sharp.

Extreme Dinosaurs

extremedionsIf you were into the turtles action figures you will LOVE Extreme Dinosaurs. I was 17 when these guys hit the market so I was completely unaware they even existed until about 3 years ago when I found one in a grab bin at a toy show. These toys are well constructed and look awesome. My favorite action figures are always the ones that look like a living cartoon and these capture that better than almost any figure I have seen, If you get a chance to pick some up, do it, you’ll be happy you did.

Godzilla Force

godzillaforceI don’t even know where I got one of these guys. The one I have wears black armor but looks exactly like this blue guy. It took me hours of searching to even figure out what the hell he was and the answer was Godzilla force. As near as I can tell these are toys based off the G-Force which were a Power Ranger like group used in the Godzilla movies to fight Godzilla or Gordzirrra if you have slanty eys. This toy sucks.

Highlander

highlanderChristopher Lambert would turn into Raiden and electrocute the fucker responsible for this shit if he ever met them. Fuck you Highlander toys.

Check out PART SIX

One response to “Lost In The Attic: The Toys That Time Forgot Part 7

  1. william sorrells

    Funny thing about the Exo-squad line, at the time a lot of rumors where going around about how Exo-squad and Robotech where the same thing, so how did playmate answer these rumors, by getting the rights from matchbox to make their robotech toys and did so, under the exo-squad name/roborech.
    Which was funny since their Robotech line was made for G.I. Joe size figures and Exo-Squad pilots where slightly smaller, also the main fighter of the series was only made in plane mode and unable to transform into it’s robot form. This kind of killed Exo-squad, until a few years later when Replay, a sub branch of Playmates brought back several Exo-squad exo-suits under the name of TECH WARS, even mentioned exo-squad on the back of the packaging, good news more Exo-squad units because the human pilots where basic G.I. Generic, and the bad guys were Cyborg experiment thing. I really have know idea what they where going for on the bad guys in this line, sadly the pilots where made of very cheap plastic. But the exo-suits still made pretty good and very generic military looking colors, which helped if you wanted to build a exo-suit army.

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