Bad Candy Ideas: Part 1

Every year there are literally 100’s of new edible delights created by various companies to rot out the teeth of children. For the most part the quality control guys wave everything through because if your little brat wants to be on a massive sugar high so cranked out of his mind he can see Jesus the candy companies know you’ll buy it.

In some situations though some costumes are so god awful they get dropped from production lines, or if need be, the FDA’s special weapons division infiltrates the factory and destroys every living thing. Here are a few of those candies that…didn’t make it.

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Gary Glitter ZEP dispenser

Our first rejected candy comes to us from ZEP candy based out of Bedfordshire England. ZEP Candies LLC had problems from the beginning as PEZ candy sued them for creating a candy and dispenser system that was almost identical to their world renowned PEZ Dispensers. Zep was able to side step any legal action by pointing out that their candy dispensers did not have flip back heads like the PEZ Dispensers did, but rather you pushed down on the head to release the candy from a spring-loaded door in the center of the dispenser.

This year for Halloween ZEP wanted to expand upon their celebrity dispenser line by adding a bunch of new designs based on classic rockers. One of the first dispensers in the new series was of England’s own Gary Glitter. As you can see, the center mounted spring loaded trap door is in a most unfortunate place on this particular dispenser. Even if it weren’t Gary Glitter it would look as though the candy that was dispensed was more or less a penis. Add the fact that Gary Glitter has gained quite the reputation for putting his penis inside children, this is just a bad idea all around.

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Wax Vagina Lips

Crudco Confectioneries planned on producing this line of “sugar lips”, but they never got to ship any out for…obvious reasons. Now while this is madly inappropriate for children’s Halloween candy, Crudco has been making a killing in the edible sex toy arena. Wax Vagina Lips come in original (shown here) which consists of cherry flavored wax around a bubble gum core and new “Monsoon Mensies ” in which the wax lips are filled with raspberry flavored “blood’. Gross.

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“Hollywood Surprise” Candy Corn.

Compared to some of the other offerings on this list, this candy corn seems rather tame. In fact candy corn is a staple of Halloween in America. Why would Candy Corn ever be rejected? Well, this offering from Make-a-buck Co. is called Hollywood Surprise Candy Corn, and it isn’t so much candy as it is vomit collected from the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, The Olson Twins, Nicole Richie and the rest of the Hollywood whore trend setting trash set.

Well, that’s it for now kids, but check out Bad Kids Costumes.

2 responses to “Bad Candy Ideas: Part 1

  1. should make vagina flavored sweets

  2. Dale Carty

    Yes I wish that my coffee came with that flavor also

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