Lost In The Attic: The Toys That Time Forgot Part 8

Today’s “Lost in the Attic” brings us mostly a lot of stuff that was probably better off “lost” with a few gems in there as well.  hopefully I conjure up some good memories for you or help you figure out what a certain toy was that might have you stumped.

ID4 – Independence Day

id4

These guys came out in ’96 with to help promote the release of the film. Now “The Bearded One” a.k.a. George Lucas, wasn’t the first person to put out toys to promote his movie, but he probably was the first to put out a movie to promote his toys (looking at you Episodes 1-3) and no one has done it better. It appears that Trendmasters started off with a good idea, they certainly had awesome source material and then they just screwed the pooch.  The guy above was supposed to be Bill Pullman’s character, the President of the United States. First, ignoring the fact that he looks nothing like Pullman, I have to point out, HE’S CARRYING A BAZOOKA!!! Why? Flight suit? O.k. he did fly a jet in the movie, pistol, sure, pilots carry pistols, assault rifle? O.k. maybe, I can see it, but a god damned rocket launcher? Second, he looks nothing like Pullman. I guess the body molding isn’t too bad but there aren’t many points of articulation. Eh, I guess if you were a HUGE fan of the movie pick it up, but I wouldn’t go out of my way for it.

Inspector Gadget

inspector gadget

Inspector Gadget was always one of my favorite cartoons as a kid. I mean it was just “Get Smart” with a cyborg and no one had a better bad guy than Dr. Claw, but the toys…eh. There were to tries at making figures based on the original cartoon, once in ’86 and once in ’92. Since no one I know has ever seen (or cared about) a figure from the ’86 line I will focus on the 1990 line. The figures themselves were bright and colorful, and to be honest remind me a lot of the Dick Tracy figures, which I guess is a plus, but they were kind of boring. I mean they didn’t really do too much and the didn’t come with a lot of accessories. On the plus side, they look just like the cartoon, on the negative, there was a “Penny and Brain” combo, a Mad Agent, Dr. Claw and 52,000 different Inspector Gadgets. I realize building all the gizmos into one Gadget that he had on the show would be tough, but I hate that they made you buy a bunch of different figures. I mean they could have done the hat helicopter, expanding neck and expanding arms and legs as one toy instead of five different ones.

 James Bond Jr.

jamesbondjr

Crappy show, crappy toys. Pure poop.

Judge Dredd

judge dredd
I feel the same way about these toys as I did about the movie and the comic book, I should like them but I do. No, I LOVE them. These toys were really well done and had a lot of attention to detail. It’s a pity I never see them at shows anywhere or I would own a metric shit ton of them.

Last Action Hero

lastaction
Say what you will about the movie Last Action Hero but it wasn’t the crappiest thing to come out of 1993. No, that honor belongs to the Last Action Hero figures, which I always thought they should have just called “Last Action Figures”. I remember, for one year for my birthday my aunt got me a bunch of these and I was kind of excited because they were big, bulky looking figures and they did come with some kick ass accessories, but they just fell apart. I mean the Jack Slater that came with the brick wall to punch through only survived one encounter with a Tonka truck. I mean what kind of shit is that?

Lost World of the Warlord

warlord 

Want to play with Masters of the Universe toys without paying Masters of the Universe prices? Well my friend, Lost World of the Warlord figures are what you’re looking for. These guys were made by Remco and based on the D.C. comic, but lets own up to it here, they were made to not only look like He-Man toys, but to try and out sell them by being offered at a lower price and hoping parents wouldn’t know the difference.  They are decent looking toys, I own one and would probably own more. Except for “Skull Man”, he looks like shit.

Love Boat

love boat
I don’t know why anyone ever thought it was a good idea to make Love Boat action figures, but they sure as hell did and what pisses me off most is they are actually decent toys. The first time I ever encountered one was at a toy show and at first I thought it was a Playmantes Star Trek toy. Then I thought to myself, “Why the fuck is Picard dressed as a sea-captain and why is he wearing shorts.” I walked away and it kept eating at the back of my brain, then it hit me, “STUBING”! I will say that if you are ever out at a show and see one of these NIB for under $10 buy as many as you can, I have seen these things sell for between $25-$50.

Mighty Crusaders

mightycrusade
This series pisses me off so much I don’t even wanna talk about it. I mean I will, for you, but Jesus Christ how did toy makers in the 80’s get away with this?  This series had some really great toys, pretty much all of the good guy figures look really awesome and all of the bad guys, like the douche bag above, look like some one shat them out. One of the coolest figures of the line was “Web”, I dug him a lot. Apparently this line has a die-hard following over at http://www.mightycrusaders.net/bootleg.htm.

 

Mork & Mindy

mork_front
This is supposed to be Mork from Ork instead it looks like the scariest Michael Jackson zombie (from his actual corpse not from the thriller video) that I have ever seen. Side note, if you want further proof its MJ’s zombie, look at the boots and gloves, those are from the “Rock With Me” video.

Pee-Wee’s Playhouse

peewee
These figures were dead on. The looked exactly like the show, they were fun to play with AND they were well made. I owned a Jambi for a while, I dunno what ever happened to it but I think I am going to really start focusing on collecting them this year.

Peter Pan & the Pirates

peterpan

THQ should stick to video games.

Well that’s it for today kiddos, but don’t despair, I have a few more of these in the works to take you on walks down memory lane.

2 responses to “Lost In The Attic: The Toys That Time Forgot Part 8

  1. I completely am in awe of this blog 🙂 totally going to have to
    put this on the list.

  2. Actually, as of today I have officially posted what is probably the last update. I will be leaving the site up so you can read through the enormous backlog of garbage I spewed out of my brain. Thanks for the kind words and check out my new site, http://thegentlemensrevolution.wordpress.com/

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