Corey Haim: Deader than his own career.

He was preceded in death by his acting career (died 1994), his cultural relevance (2000) and Corey Feldman’s sunglasses from “License to Drive” (1988). Corey broke into acting in 1984 but didn’t really get noticed until 1986’s Lucas, after that he spent four years in the spot light…just to the left of Corey Feldman, who apparently had the slightly better agent since talent wasn’t a factor in either case.

His beloved career which he affectionately called “Cokemoney” began to show signs of sickness in 1993 and had officially passed away a year later when the only acting gigs he could get that had any shot of success were jobs in shitty sequels to movies he made years before that weren’t so shitty.

Corey will always be remembered for his ability to botch up another actors lines, sleeping in gutters, keeping warm with pickles jars full of his own urine and his drug fueled temper tantrums.

Word is he will be starring in a movie in the afterlife entitled “The M.I.L.F.” along side Jonathan Brandis and Farrah Fawcett.

2 responses to “Corey Haim: Deader than his own career.

  1. Wow, while its true both their careers tanked in the mid 90’s its kinda shitty the way you say it after he passes away.Still, you are a genius and i really wanna have sex with you.

  2. Is this supposed to be funny or something?

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