Hey Stupid Visits the Christmas Story House

Every so often myself, King Dut and a few other Hey Stupid contributors, both willing and unwilling,get together for a road trip or some other debacle. When we gathered together this past weekend it was for a road trip to go see the Lake Erie Monsters take on the San Antonio Rampage in what we hoped would be fantastic AHL action.  After a night of hard drinking we all agreed to meet up around 7 and hit the road.

In attendance for this fantastic voyage were myself, King Dut, Bodie, 3D and The Marine. We piled in the USS Poopsie and headed west and four hours later we were in the mistake by the lake.  Our first stop was to a place called “Jack Frost Donuts” where I bought the second best cinnamon roll I’ve ever consumed.

This cinnamon roll was so ridiculous. It weighed 42 pounds and was made of pure deliciousness.

After we left the delicious donut shack, we traveled back in time to Christmas in the 40s. We arrived at the house that shaped my childhood Christmas memories.

When I found out that the A Christmas Story house had been restored, I HAD to go check it out. In case you didn’t know, after the movie had finished filming the house  had fallen into disrepair. Eventually Brian Jones, the guy responsible for the making the Leg Lamp available for purchase.

We started our tour in the museum and I was just about jumping out of my skin. The stuff there was so amazing, I will tell you up front that the “Pink Nightmare” suit and the white cowboy outfit fought Black Bart in aren’t there but everything else is truly amazing.


A Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time". Poetry. Sheer poetry

Yellow eyes.

Ah, baloney. What would your old man know about anything?

Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.

Why, its a major award!

Leave me alone....I'm uh......thinking.

The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey A La King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, ALL GONE!

Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference was for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Life Buoy, on the other hand...

Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!

Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie!

It… It ’twas… soap poisoning!

I can not stress enough how great this place is.  If  you are a fan of this movie, if you are a fan of childhood, if you’re a fan of Christmas, happiness and joy you HAVE to go see this place. Please please please, go check it out. See the house, see the museum, buy goodies at the gift shop. Support this, fans made this movie popular, fans keep it on the air for 24 hours every year, fans need to keep this dream alive.

In God Te Trust: All Others Pay Cash.

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