WILLY THE POOR
Deep in the hundred-acre trailer park,
where Jackinoff Rubbin plays,
you will find the enchanted neighborhood
of Jackinoff’s childhood days.
A donkey named Ass is his friend,
and Lionn and little Rat.
There’s Bunny and Swine and there’s Hooter.
but most of all Willy the Poor.
Willy the Poor, Willy the Poor,
silent little cubby wants to be your friend
He’s Willy the Poor, Willy the Poor,
Willy nilly silly ole bear.
…Willy nilly silly ole bear
Willy is stretched out on the ground sleeping in the mud where the swimmin’ hole used to be. His mind wonders back to the previous week’s events and the image of Ass’s corpse, reanimated and standing on the hillside. Terrified he wakes up to find he is still sleeping on a pile of mud and garbage and old broken ass bottles that now fill the swimmin’ hole. Feeling pretty hungry Willy starts rooting through the garbage. He can usually find at least one or two shit-covered old hot dogs but on this day, though, he finds a huge, floppy, big rubber purple dick and proceeds to chuck that slimy son-of-a-bitch in the god damned creek.. Noticing that the flow of the river takes the rubber death dong under the bridge, Willy invents a racing game out of it. Since Willy doesn’t really have any friends he plays it by himself.
Sometime later, Swine, Bunny and Rat show up and see that retarded hobo Willy sitting by the river playing with a gigantic fucking rubber donkey cock. Willy tells them he’s playing a new game by himself but what he actually says is “Hey guys, I am playing with myself with this enormous fake trouser snake I found in the ol’ trash pile”.
While standing there they see Ass floating in the river below. “Hey guys, I sure do hate the fucking water” he says as he floats by. After a somewhat successful attempt to get him to shore with the gargantuan 8 foot rubber wang, he tells them that he fell in due to being raped from behind. Swine shouts that it was Lionn who raped Ass into the creek. When Lionn arrives on the scene, he claims that his rape was actually a cough and that he was nowhere near that depressing fucking donkey asshole, leading to an argument between him and Ass, but with some outside help from the narrator, the animals find out that Lionn had indeed been nowhere near Ass. Lionn then says “fuck you assholes”, but nobody else, by showing weird faces, actually believes him. Lionn disgustedly says that they all probably rape each other anyway, and bounces away.
As Ass seems particularly depressed this day, Willy follows him to his gloomy spot and asks what the problem is. Ass says that he is unhappy because it is his birthday, and nobody has taken any notice to celebrate it. Willy decides to give him an Elvis, ’68 Comeback commemorative plate from the Bradford Exchange he stole from his parents’ trailer, but does not get far before he has a hunger attack and ends up smashing the plate in anger. Upon realizing this, he decides to ask Swine for advice. Swine consults his Ouija board and tells him that what Ass really wants is the rest of the gang to gang rape him, and Willy accepts. Swine writes down a time and place to bring Ass to and then runs off to tell Jackinoff Rubbin about the birthday. Swine has planned to wrap his cock in a special red condom to shove inside Ass, but when Hooter greets him from the sky, Swine is not looking where he is going, and falls down and punctures it on a stick accidentally.
Swine is very sad that his “gift” for Ass is spoiled and starts smacking a big iron rod against a rock and screaming obscenities. Rat shows up and asks him what’s wrong but Swine, now in a fit of retarded rage tells him to fuck off or he is gonna go have a big “two-kegger dance party” on Rat’s mom’s grave. Swine runs off and waits at the “party” location. Willy and his friends then pitch in and plan a surprise party rape for their friend.
During the party, Swine, Hooter, Jackinoff Rubbin, Bunny, Willy and Rat surround Ass and just start raping the fucking shit out of him. When Lionn finally comes along he proclaims, “I knew it, I fucking knew it, you guys all fuck each other like crazy hillbillies”. Ass gets his mouth free from the cock-storm for two seconds and shouts out “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!” and begins weeping.