Kennedy Space Center, Cape Canaveral, Florida
Ladies and gentleman, this is rock n’ roll reporter Cal Silverhammer here to report that just a few moments ago King Dut and Turbo Von Edmund Fitzcroylestein came together to announce that after 6 months SNYDER is coming out of retirement, going back out on the road and recording a new album.
King Dut: Look this band has always been about the music. Well, The music and the pussy. Alright, the music, the pussy and the cocaine. The pussy, the cocaine and the money. The music is ok but I guess it isn’t that important. Listen, Daddy Dut’s been losin’ a lot of money at the god damn dog tracks and I need to make a pay day.
Turbo: The world needs this band, not the other way around.
Cal: Will the full line up from the last album and tour be returning? Nasty, Bodie, The Jage and Asian Cimba?
King Dut: No, those guys are all fucking retarded. Nasty is busy, I dunno, selling lemonade and jerking off, Bodie has been taking a nap for 7 months, The JaGe…well who care about him and Asian Cimba is just a huge waste of time.
Cal: So what is the new SNYDER line up going to be?
Turbo: Well, it will be myself and King Dut, obviously…
King Dut: Obviously.
Turbo: And we’ll probably recruit a bunch of wankers no one has ever heard of just to do our bidding.
Cal: When can we expect to see some new material from SNYDER?
Turbo: What’s with all the questions? This interview…this interview is over.