“MY KOSHER MOTORCYCLE AND A SWITCHBLADE KNIFE”

Ok.

First off, I don’t dislike Jews. I may look like the greatest Aryan cut from marble but I’m a friend of Jews. I work with Jews, I’m cool w Jews. I’ll never date them again but that’s neither here nor there.

They are starting a lunch service at work. They have to be kosher options. I am looking at this menu and wanting to give someone a legsweep.

Grow up. Eat pork or whatever it is you find offensive. This is not 235 BC. Even then, you were still an idiot.

We have to have 2 microwaves at work because one is kosher only. Every time we order cupcakes, or pizza, or whatever, it tastes like complete shit. Kosher food is awful. I would rather eat out if a trashcan than eat another bite of kosher pizza.

As Noah would say, “like sucking tit through a sweater”.

Listen. Why is it different to hit the animal in the head w a hammer, vs petting it while you slowly jab a switchblade into its neck?

Oh, its more humane. No it isn’t  Murder for consumption is murder for consumption! The difference is that Im not wasting time and pizza potential on silly pizza games and kosher preparation shenanigans.

I admit I have no clue how Jews prepare food or what they eat or don’t eat. But i know kosher cupcakes taste like apeshit.

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