Gamers Guide: Top ten games to get this Christmas!!!

Well kiddos, Thanksgiving will be here in a soon which means of course that there will be parades, turkey, football games, naps, arguments, drinking and deep fryer fires. It also means that the next day will be BLACK FRIDAY which will of course kick off the Christmas 2009 shopping season.

It also means that it will be prime time to get all the greatest games coming out for the holiday season. Without a doubt there will be a storm of games flurrying around your electronics dealer of choice and it will be hard to focus on what is great and what is crap. Your old, trusty friends here at Hey Stupid are here to help.

As much as I want to I won’t list any games here that will be released after January 1st 2010 since I will be talking about them in another review.

Borderlands: This game has got me very excited. It is kind of a shoot ’em up, sci-fi, adventure that takes place in the future on an Earth colony called Pandora. Basically the people who went there in search of a new life and a chance to make their fortunes touch down on the planet and find out they’ve been screwed. The world is pretty much barren and empty and the people with the cash to get the hell out of Dodge take the first thing steamin’ out of there. The people left behind fall into a wild west type of atmosphere where laws and lawmen are few and far between.

When the native inhabitants pop up to say hello they start killing off the colonists and this is where it starts to get interesting.

With over 3 million (rumored) weapons to choose from and the ability to customize your character and vehicles through various upgrades, plus the ability to jump in and out of multiplayer games all combined with a great single player storyline, me thinks this is just my kind of game.

Borderlands

WET: Prince of Persia, Max Pain, Devil May Cry, Duke Nukem. These titles bring to mind some of the most innovative features in video game history. So what happens if you mix them all together, add a badass hot chick who can swing a sword and shoot guns and world travel and you get WET.

My interest in this game has been peeked ever since I got a trailer from it a while back and I haven’t been able to stop talking about. This game is going to blow your mind.

WET

SMACKDOWN VS RAW 2010: This is the first time in a decade that I have been this excited for a wrestling game. Not since Wrestlemania 2000 was released back in 1999 have I been this pumped. Honestly, I didn’t even know SDVR 2009 was had been released until I was in my local store and saw it on the shelf, that was how little I had cared for the series at that point.

For me when wrestling games began migrating away from the N64 and onto the XBOX and PS2 I was not impressed. I don’t think there was ever a decent wrestling game released on the XBOX and the Gamecube games were just plain shit. The PS2 games really sucked hard until Smackdown: Here comes the Pain came out in 2003. By that point I think the Smackdown series had finally hit its stride and they had themselves a kick ass game. My friends and I would play it for days on end and we had even put together a league.

The following year Smackdown Vs. Raw came out and for all the hype just wasn’t that great. It had a few strange kinks left to be worked out. SDVR 2006 came out and I was impressed. Sure it wasn’t everything I had hoped for and it still didn’t have the “fun factor” of the N64 games, but I was happy with it over all.

The next three games in the series, as far as I was concerned, were all big stinky turds. It seemed all the developers focused on were upgrades to the graphics and making the move system ridiculously complicated.

I wouldn’t have even taken notice of SDVR 2010 except for the fact that I caught a clip for it on tv one night real early in the morning and it was so unbelievable I thought I dreampt it so the next morning I looked around the internet and here is what I found…

You can create all of your own characters, which has always been a staple of the series and you can create finishers which looks like it just some shitty filler feature this time around. You can create up to ten or eleven “years” of unique storylines that you design, you can create your own PPV’s, arenas; matchtypes and tournaments. You can write your own character scripts with a USB keyboard, you can use ALL of the characters in your storylines. The create a player mode has been completely redone so it sucks far FAR less and you can really put yourself in the game AND they brought back the ability to actually edit the actual superstars which I haven’t seen since NO MERCY.  This is a MUST HAVE!!!

Smackdown Vs Raw: 2010

BRUTAL LEGEND: If you or someone you love is a heavy metal nut then this is the game for you. Now just to clarify I am not talking about being a fan of shitty nu metal bands or any of the modern subgenre bullshit, I am talking about pure, dirty, delicious, brain melting metal. If you rock out to the masters like Diamond Head, Motörhead, Sanctuary, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Lita Ford, Scorpions, Black Sabbath, Mötley Crüe, Manowar, Testament, Kiss, Cradle of Filth, Megadeth, Accept, Anthrax, Iced Earth, Ministry and Saxon then this game is your wet dream come true.

You play through the game as “the world’s best roadie for the world’s worst band” until you are transported to an alternate reality where METAL rules the world. The game combines elements of  realtime strategy, sandbox environments and a Rockband style note for note series of minigames.

To make this all so much cooler the game’s hero is voiced by Jack Black and features the voice talents of  Lemmy, Rob Halford, Lita Ford and Ozzy Osbourne all while rocking to a soundtrack featuring all the aforementioned bands and about 15 others.

Brutal Legend

Left 4 Dead 2: I don’t want to like these games. I have always felt that games that FORCE you to play on line are kind of horse shit. Don’t get me wrong, I love to play games on line, I think its a blast, but I hate being forced to. Sure the original had a single player mode, but with only 4 stages with a few levels a piece what the hell’s the point? The fact is though that I LOVE Left 4 Dead. There are few things more fun then getting on line late at night with a few of my friends, getting piss drunk and killin’ zombies.

Admittedly I am getting a little board hearing the same voice clips over and over again and playing the exact same stages so I couldn’t be more happy that another game is getting set to come out. If you were a fan of the first game, get this one and I’ll see you on X-Box live.

Left 4 Dead 2

New Super Mario Bros. Wii: My friends and I talk about this all the time, when did video games start to focus less on fun and more on special effects? The thing is, special effects are awesome. I love playing a game and feeling completely immersed in the world but if doing so sacrifices the storyline and the fun then what the hell’s the point its basically a Michael Bay film when that happens and no one wants that.  I love Mario games because no matter what they are always fun, in fact I think that as long as there are Mario and Zelda games I will be happy and the latest entry into the series only reaffirms my faith.  NSMB:W goes back to the classic side scroller look and feel with a four person simultaneous multiplayer and a heavy dose of fun.

New Super Mario Bros. Wii

Fairytale Fights: I am so glad that so many developers are starting to realize that while it is fun to play online and make fun of people you’ve never met before when they lose, it is even more fun to play with your friends, in your living room and harass them relentlessly when they show off how much they  suck at video games. That being said, what better way to do it than with a video game that is so completely sick and twisted just thinking of the concept makes me happy? In Fairytale Fights you can play as any one of a selection of cutely designed fairytale characters who are pissed off that the world forgot about them. You can set off in adventure to explore the world, meet new and interesting people and kill them in the most violently possible ways. The game runs on the Unreal 3 engine and features a combat system that allows you to dynamically cut up your opponents by controlling your blade with the analog stick.

Fairytale Fights

Rock Band: LEGO: Wondering what game to get your little gamer this season? Well Rock Band: Lego might be the way to go. While it does feature all of the elements of Rock Band that made the series famous, it also combines aspects from the LEGO series. While probably not as mind-blowing as Rock Band: The Beatles was, it is still going to be a solid game. I love the LEGO series of games and I think they’ve done a great job making some honestly fun, family friendly games, which isn’t easy to do. I like the fact that because its LEGO and they know their audience is mostly younger children, they included a “budding musician” mode where the player need only repeatedly press one button over and over again, but on expert it is still every bit as challenging.

Rock Band: LEGO

LEGO Indiana Jones 2: As with the previous LEGO game, I am really looking forward to this. The first LEGO game I ever played was LEGO Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures which then got me hooked on LEGO Batman and LEGO Star Wars. This game includes stuff from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which I know a lot of people didn’t like,but a lot of people are retarded. Case in point, most of the same people I know that bitched about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull thought that Transformers: Revenge of the fallen was a good movie, so screw ’em.  The thing that has me the most excited about this game is that rumor has it you’ll be able to build your own Lego stages.

LEGO Indiana Jones 2

Saboteur: Inglorious Basterds, Grand Theft Auto, sexy women and sweet revenge all wrapped up in one awesome package. You play as an Irish racer and rouge mechanic who’s life was screwed up by the Nazis. After traveling to France and as near as I can tell joining the French resistance it is your job to exact revenge on the Nazi scumdogs in anyway you see fit, the more gruesome, the better.

Well, as of right now those are the top ten games I am excited about for the upcoming Christmas season. I am sure there will be a few more that get me all pumped up, but these ten are the ones I would say to really keep your eyes peeled for. If you don’t see a game on the list that is one of your favorites its probably just because you’re an idiot and you play stupid games.

Confirmed for 2009

It happens with the start of every new year. People start gabbing about shit that just isn’t true. Hopes and dreams really. When you break it down and do a little research though you find out that it was never even a thought in the mind of anyone supposedly involved. In some cases it is something that someone hears and blogs about other times it is a hoax and still other it is an out right lie but like I said, it happens every year. This year I decided to start things off by confirming a few rumors that ARE true. I hope that these confirmations have you as excited for 2009 as I am. Honestly after some of the movies that were rumored at in Movie (pre)View:5 Reasons not to leave your house, we need a little good news.

The Godfather 4: After the success of the Godfather video game in 06 Serious talks began about shooting a new chapter in the series. Paramount Pictures declared in 07 that they would never be attached to another Godfather film so in August of that year Coppola began legal proceedings to gain control of the franchise.  In 2008 Coppola signed an exclusive deal with Boll KG to fund and distribute the film. Part of the agreement was to include a CGI “prequel” as well but no word as of yet when that will take place. Coppola then decided to focus on casting. In September of last year he began talking with some pretty big names. The list of male leads was confirmed as Al Pacino, Nicholas Cage, Andy Garcia and Joe Pantoliano. The new Godfather tentatively being called “Godfather: The Unforgiven Sins” is set to begin principal filming in February in Kansas City.

The long awaited Nirvana Reunion: No Kurt didn’t fake his own death. No he hasn’t been living in Europe under a false name. The truth is after the release of “With the Lights Out” in 2004 as well as all of the best selling books relating to the band and overwhelming fan demand Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic have been kicking this around for at least 3 years. This rumor has been going strong for a while now but I didn’t believe it until last week when I first heard from a source close to Austin Winkler of Hinder said that the singer had be tapped to fill in for Kurt if this thing were to get off the ground. After a bit more research I found out from a source at Courtney Love’s management company that she has actually o.k.ed this. Apparently Krist and Dave approached her about doing a “semi-reunion” and asked if she would have a problem with the two of them re-recording some Nirvana songs for a benefit C.D. under the name “Pen Cap Chew” which Krist explained was one of the original names of Nirvana. Love kicked the idea around and said that she was uncomfortable with that idea. If the songs were going to be performed by Dave and Krist she felt it would only be right that it be called “Nirvana”. In December Love, Grohl and Novoselic got together to begin disgussing plans. It was agreed that the band would indeed be called Nirvana and that Krist and Dave would make most of the decisions but Love had to have final approval of everything. By the end of December Pat Smear had been signed up to join the band and Love made one more stipulation. Since she recently became sober  with the help of the “New Approach” clinic, she wanted a protion of the profits to be donated to them. Novoselic, Grohl, Winkler and Smear are expected to begin rehearsing later this month in Los Angeles.

The Sega Bennu: Sega hit its stride with the Sega Genesis in the early 90’s and then had a massive resurgence with the Dreamcast in 99 and the game Seaman. By 2001 though Sega was failing and soon had to restructure itself as a “Software Only” company. It survives in this role still today and it brought the company great success. So much so that Hiroyuki Miyazaki, director of  R&D recently slipped at a press conference in July of 08 and revealed the plan for Sega to return to console production. The console was codenammed “Red Belt” until December 18th when an internal document revealed the name to be “Bennu”. Bennu is the ancient Egyptian name for Pheonix, which makes sense considering this new console will be rising from the ashes. Look for strong marketing to begin around Easter with full on saturation and pre-orders by October. First run to hit U.S. stores by black Friday.

Gamers Guide: Sonic Unleashed

So the sonic team returns, and as usual, it’s not for the better.

When i first heard that Sega and Sonic Team were developing a new 3D platform based Sonic game, i was getting pretty excited. Then when i read about the Wer-hog stages i started to become a little skeptical.

Now, this review is for the PS2 version of the game, because as of right now, i have not played the Xbox 360 version which from what i have read is a different game. I really hope so.

The game starts off like any sonic game that has been made in the last 9 years.You talk to some stupid ass looking character that looks like a 5 year old drew it.He tells you a bunch of shit you don’t care about, and leads you through a 45 minute tutorial that’s painfully boring.

Once you get through all that crap, you finally get to play something half decent.A platform 3D type stage. That’s about the coolest part of the game.It’s actually kinda fun, and i think they should have made the entire game this way.

THEN you get to move onto a “night” stage were, for some reason, you turn into wer-sonic.These stages are basically a platform beat’em up kinda thing, except when you have to find certain things to open a door to move on…for fucks sake.This is what ruined the last 4 sonic games (except for the DS games, they were fucking sweet) so why keep doing it?I thought the point of this was to bring back the old platform style game with new graphics just like Nintendo did on the DS with New Super Mario Bros.

I guess i was wrong though.Look, the game isn’t the worst game I’ve played by a long shot, but i will tell you that the PS2 version in particular is very disappointing. The graphics are choppy and shoddy looking to be honest.The game certainly could have done without the boring wer-sonic stages altogether.I just don’t see a need for it.If you were going to do this wer-sonic thing, why not make his stages running as well?

I just don’t understand Sonic Teams logic lately…just make 1 decent platform running sonic game for the new ages and make everyone happy.Or hell, go back to side scrolling and use 3D graphics for it like the DS games.Stop letting everyone down.People wonder what happened to Sega, and why they went bankrupt over and over again…bad marketing, and bad games.Don’t get me wrong though, Sega has made a lot of great games over the years too…but this one i would avoid unless the price drops to about $20.If you wanna try it out, go for it.The running stages are fun, and that’s bout it. Maybe after i try the xbox 360 version i’ll come back and revise this artical, but for now, this game only gets a 5…because it’s mediocre at best.

5 out of 10

– StraTT